And now, in no particular order,
THINGS THAT BUG ME
ABOUT LIFE ON CAMPUS.
- Hypocrisy. Actually, make this number 1. Everything else in no particular order. See, in Christian schools, everyone has be be good Christians because it’s expected of them. Not by the faculty or staff, who know better; it’s entirely based on peer pressure. I don’t mind the sinning that goes on a fraction as much as I mind the righteous attitudes artificially taken against it outside the dorms.
- The thumping upstairs. I don’t know what they’re doing—aerobics, moving furniture, pillow fights, drunkenly falling out of bed, whatever. I only hope it’s not crippling. They need to pick better hours to do it.
- The singing. It’s like living in a frickin’ musical around here sometimes. While there are many talented people on this campus, their song selection sucks. Stevie Wonder did it right the first time; nobody will outdo him; don’t try. And what’s with all the Johnny Mathis stuff?
- At 3 a.m. And they have to sing it at 3 a.m. The only person who should be awake around here at 3 a.m. is me. Go to bed!
- People who stay awake till 3, then complain the next day of being tired. Don’t stay up all hours if you aren’t willing to suffer the consequences. And don’t go blaming it on age. I’ve heard too often, “Man, I can’t pull all-nighters like I used to when I was 18. I’m getting old.” I pull all-nighters for fun and I’m 10 years older than most of them. Sleep is for the weak.
- Guys who wrestle. Basically they’re repressed and looking for an excuse to hug one another. But it shouldn’t make so much bloody noise, nor should it block the hallway.
- Speakers louder than mine. But fortunately, there aren’t any in my hall.
- Those who abuse the bathroom. These include people who don’t flush, people who leave toilet paper all over the floor, people who miss the trash, people who hit the seat, people who leave puddles of soap or gel or cream on the sink, people who leave little hairs all over the sink or shower, and of course showerbators.
- Burnett guys in Burnett South’s lobby. They come here to use our TV for their video games. Use your own bloody TV.
- Burnett guys in Swanson Hall’s lobby. Then there are the guys who are always hanging out in Swanson’s lobby, regardless of whether they’re with a girlfriend or not, or if they even have one. That’s just sad. “Lounge lizards,” I call them.
- People who flirt by insulting, hitting, or other juvenile behavior. Sadder than the lounge lizards.
- Those who assume because I’m not in their bible or Greek classes, they know more than me. Actually, though, they’re kind of fun because I can mess with their heads a lot. Scratch that.
- People who get out of their seat and run around shouting when their team makes a touchdown. Or makes a basket, hits a home run, scores a goal, outscores the other figure skaters… As if they did it.
- Women who complain they’re not dating, yet don’t ask anyone out. It seems many women have never read the book of Ruth, so they don’t believe they can. Instead, they assume that since men are supposed to be spiritual leaders in the home, we’re to take the initiative in dating. Since when is asking someone out a sign of spiritual leadership? Is this a characteristic we’re to look for in a pastor—great with pickup lines? For crying out loud, it’s not leading a prayer group; it’s saying, “Hello. I’d like to get to know you better. Would you have coffee with me?”
- The cafΓ© doesn’t serve yogurt for breakfast. Actually, they don’t serve most of my favorite breakfast foods. No lox, no grits, no Wheaties, no Grape Nuts, no onion bagels, no poached eggs on toast, no lemon scones. And lately they’ve been scrimping on the Starbucks.
- No air conditioning. Which isn’t an issue in February, but wait until May.
- The tap water. Which I now believe is contaminated with mold. The smell is the same as some mold which once contaminated my water cooler.
- People who complain that they’ve got a paper due tomorrow and it’s 11 p.m. It’s their own bloody fault they put it off till now. They get no sympathy from me.
More as they come up. These only came up within the past week.