𝘚𝘰 much juvenile behavior on this campus.

I’m surrounded by immaturity.

Someone was playing that Clay Aiken song that goes,

🎵 If I was invisible

🎵 Then I could just watch you in your room.

Am I the only one that finds that creepy?

So I’m doing my homework in the library and inadvertently listening to the people in the room. I became an auditory witness to one of the saddest fumbling attempts at flirtation I’ve heard since I taught junior high school.

He was hanging out with her because he likes her. She was giving him opening after opening to admit this, and yet he kept missing them. Instead, he did the usual stupid junior-high stuff: bragging and teasing. The bragging part was when he was talking about his good qualities (“I’m really good at focusing on my work.” “Oh yeah, so am I.” “Yeah, when I’m working on something I just stick with it until I get it done.” This conversation was taking place while they were working. Ah, irony) or showing off (“Check this out.” “Ewww!” “Heh-heh.”), both of which were less disturbing than the “smack ’em if you like ’em” behavior (“Ow, stop that.” “I’m just playing.”) which takes on a whole different meaning if you’ve ever watched your dad beat your mom unconscious like I have.

This is the difference between boys and men. Men realize that women like positive attention more than they like attention in general. Men know they should give compliments. If a person isn’t emotionally mature enough to be honest and admit something as simple and non-committal as, “I think you’re great; I like spending time with you; I value your company,” then that person is too young to date and should expect nothing but traumatic messy breakups until the phase is over.

I resisted the temptation to turn around and shout, “She likes you, okay, and you’re blowing it. Tell her what you feel.” The last time I got into someone’s business like that, the guy was so embarrassed that he denied everything—then he mourned for the next two days about how I had blown his chance with her.

So much juvenile behavior on this campus…

So I’m telling this story at dinner and M, who is studying to go into ministry and should be one of the people fighting gossip on this campus, wanted to know who these people were. He wanted names. I wasn’t about to give them. “There’s enough gossip on this campus,” I said, “without adding to it. I don’t need to embarrass them unnecessarily.”

SO much juvenile behavior on this campus…

Campus Days insanity.

Namely kids running amok. I leave it to you to guess whether I’m speaking of the high school kids or the Bethany kids.

Bethany is having Campus Days.

This means there are a bunch of proto-freshmen touring the place, getting the wrong idea because our facilities are pitiful. You don’t go to a campus for the facilities unless you’re a superficial idiot… which may explain University of California grads.

(Not all of them. Some are exceptions. Nobody I know, but statistically, there have to be some.)

Idolatry among the Episcopals.

For those of you who said they were headed that direction…

So check this out; the Episcopal Church of America is now officially encouraging idolatry.

I’m not kidding; read it for yourself. This page on the ECA website has a liturgy on it where women are to pray to Mother God, whom they refer to as the “Queen of Heaven,” and then share raisin cakes.

I personally have no problem with recognizing God’s feminine side. Trouble is, the "Queen of Heaven" referred to in Jeremiah 44 is a pagan god which the women worshipped in defiance of their male relatives and Yahweh. This liturgy actually makes reference to the defiance of ancient women towards their male relatives, but skips the bit about defiance of Yahweh. Twisted.

How clueless is the pastor who made up this ceremony? …Or, God forbid, she’s not clueless and is trying to lead astray every Christian who doesn’t read the prophets, which is unfortunately most of us.

Is it any wonder why so many Episcopals in America are leaving the U.S. Church and joining the African Church?

Finding the pony.

There’s a lot of manure to dig through in the average sermon.

God busted me some years ago (when I was at Bethany before) when I was getting down on sloppy preachers. I didn’t want to listen anymore; I did my Greek homework. Then God told me, “I anointed that guy, and I put him in that pulpit. You listen to them.”

Ronald Reagan’s favorite joke was about an optimist who was cheerfully digging through a giant pile of horse crap. The punchline: “There’s gotta be a pony in here somewhere!” So in some sermons (thankfully not most of them) I gotta go look for the pony. I can’t argue with God; I figure he’s teaching me patience or something.

This was one of them. You know the type—he says he doesn’t want to do the usual sermon and altar call. So what he does is something that’s not a sermon; it’s a sloppy string of tangents and it goes overtime. He does something that’s not an altar call; people have to stand up and confess something, and everyone else has to gather around and pray for them. (At my home church, we usually do that around the altar.) We had to pray for the people on this campus who feel lonely. What good did that do? They’re prayed for; but did anyone invite them out for coffee?

I’ve been racking my brain today trying to figure out where the pony was.

He did point out that there were millions of twentysomethings not interested in church. I knew that already; I work on some of them. He pointed out that God can do things in spite of the sloppy way we handle things. I knew this already; God has done lots in spite of me. He encouraged many people to change their majors if God wants them to. I already did that. So…

Dangit, every other time I could find the pony.

Maybe I’ll think of it tomorrow.

Burnout again?

I might be working too hard… but I can’t take Saturday off.

I worry sometimes that I’m suffering from burnout.

I did it once before, when I was working nonstop for about four years straight with no vacations. After that point I realized the value in taking the Sabbath—Saturday, of course—and arranging to do nothing on that day. You notice how everyone schedules stuff for Saturday because it’s the one day we all have off? I decided I wasn’t going to do any of it. Absolute rest, like God intended. No nothing, unless there were any emergencies.

Can’t do that in the Teacher Education Program. Saturday is just another day of classes. So that means I have to pick another day of absolute rest… except I haven’t, and it’s frying my brain. So I’m going to make it MONDAY, dangit, and do NOTHING on that day if I can avoid it. Which isn’t easy to do.

Dead pastors aren't much fun.

When God takes someone, it sucks. But life sucks.

God killed my roommate’s pastor this week.

If that statement shocked you, it shouldn’t. I believe in free will, but I also believe that no one dies without God’s permission. God may not like the way we die—I’m sure he didn’t enjoy the death of Jesus at all—but if it serves his purposes he will allow it and even approve of it. This is not because he is heartless or callous; this is because he knows that death isn’t permanent. Life is.

From our perspective, it feels permanent, and it sucks. The guy was only three years older than me, and his death—from pneumonia—was completely unexpected. His church and family are in mourning. They don’t yet know why he had to die; and grief tends to make any reason appear petty and superficial. (For that matter, most of the reasons they’ll hear over the next year will be petty and superficial.)

What can we do? Wait for the grieving to accept the circumstances. Be available; let ’em talk it through. Be realistic—none of this “it’ll get better with time” crap which isn’t true. Be sympathetic. Give space when it’s needed. Hide the liquor. And pray.

A frequently-overdone and misquoted worship song.

Enjoying worship music isn’t something we need to repent for. (Not worshipping with it—that’s another issue.)

🎵 I’m coming back to the heart of worship

🎵 And it’s all about you, all about you Jesus

🎵 I’m sorry Lord for the thing I’ve made it

🎵 When it’s all about you, all about you Jesus.

That’s from a Matt Redman song. Worship leaders love it ’cause it fits them so often. So they put it in the worship cycle and the rest of us have to sing it along with them. And then we start to question what thing we might have made worship; and maybe we didn’t.

The song isn’t about worshippers; it’s about worship leaders. It’s about people who put more into their performance than into their worship. I’m not a worship leader, so it doesn’t apply to me. And yet I got suckered into thinking, “I listen to this stuff for fun. I’m losing sight of who it’s about.” God had to interrupt and yell at me.

“You’re supposed to like worship music,” he said. “You think you’re supposed to worshipme in a way we don’t mutually enjoy? Do you really think of me as a sadist?”

“But what about when I’m enjoying it for entertainment?”

“While you’re being entertained, does it make you think of me?”

“Well, yes.”

“So it’s doing its job.”

He got me thinking about that question—“Do you really think of me as a sadist?” How many times have we figured we shoudn’t be enjoying something that God made for us to enjoy because we’re supposed to be “holy”? How messed-up does that make our view of “holy” and of God?

Creepy internet graphic of the day.

An odd combination of piety and ghosts.

Creepy image, isn’t it? Especially since George Washington was a Deist—so what’s his ghost doing there?

I found this at a Salon.com weblog referring to the Save America Now website. Some Evangelicals are putting together a video that they intend to show lots and lots of times on TV before the election. This is because one of them got a prophecy that 2004 was an important year.

Assuming the prophecy is true (for the sake of argument) I don’t know that this necessarily means the election is what God finds most important about the year. Christians may recall that Jesus never expected the politicians of the first century to fix the problems of society; his message was to the people. Then, as now, politics was an ungodly source of power. When God wants us to pray for things, I think he wants us to pray for elections about as much as he wants us to pray for World Series winners. God could really give a crap.

So these evangelicals are wasting their time and money—sorry, God’s time and money—pushing for Bush. Sure, they say on their site that it’s not important whether you’re Republican or Democrat. (And it really isn’t, so long as you’re voting for Bush.) But if they really trusted God, or their petitions to him, to take care of the election, they wouldn’t be asking for money, would they?

Unhealthy self-image isn’t helped by unhealthy standards.

Wanna know what guys like? Ask a guy.

Too many women have a messed-up idea of what men find attractive.

Much of this, I pointed out to the women at my table, would be cleared up if they simply asked one of us.

So S asked. I answered. They didn’t believe me. The other guys at the table agreed with me; but the women simply refused to accept it because they had never heard such things before.

How messed up have the fashion magazines made this generation of women?

Recently N pointed out that it’s not just the fashion magazines; it’s the porn. The fashion magazines take their cues from popular pornography as to what men like. Therefore if you follow the magazines’ tips, you’re unconsciously contributing to the warped view of sexuality that porn encourages.

That certainly does explain a lot. Disturbing, huh?

Water: Drinking the Scotts Valley swill; and floating on Alaska’s water with Charles Stanley.

A little discovery I made about our local tap water.

If you live in Scotts Valley, you know that the local tap water smells and tastes awful. There’s no reason why most of the population must independently filter or buy their own water. The local water board should be prosecuted for fiscal mismanagement because they should’ve taken care of this decades ago. In this day and age there’s no excuse for it.

Especially after my little discovery. I was taking water from Café Bethany and pouring it into my 2-gallon water cooler. The café filters it; they don’t mind if we drink it; and it didn’t hurt to have a little extra in my room to make coffee. So one morning I’m filling my coffee carafe when I notice an unwholesome odor. I open the lid on my cooler and discover I have a mold. (Café water comes out the same tap as the fruit punch; if any sugar gets into the water, mold can grow.) Down the drain. But as I’m scrubbing the cooler, I realize—the moldy water smelled like the freakin’ tap water.

Coincidence? COINCIDENCE? I don’t think so. In the process of testing the city water for lead and mercury and other brain-fuddling chemicals, has anyone bothered to test it for biological agents? Somebody call Erin Brockovich.

Gambling: Not immoral; but not wise.

Sometimes decisions are more logical than moral.

Tonight my small group leaders decided they wanted to play poker. Everyone has to cough up $2 to put in the pot. I’m not sure how I feel about this.

I have no objection to gambling on religious grounds. There’s nothing in scripture for or against it. I simply object to it on a purely logical basis:

20. If it isn’t reasonably certain,
    it’s a stupid decision.
6. If it is reasonably certain,
   yet the other party doesn’t recognize this,
   you’re preying on the stupid,
   so it’s a moral decision.
   (Basically immoral.)

Sometimes I’m just too logical for my own good.

Amusing comic strip: Jack Chick meets God.

The ironic bit is that the strip condemns Chick for condemning others.

Less amusing behaviors.

Don’t overdecorate to the point that people can’t read your bloody web page.

Another pet peeve to add to the list:

Websites whose background image make it impossible to read the text.

Were you wondering what the others were? I don’t make an official list. I simply let God deal with them until they’re no longer on the list.

Non-loving "Christians" have always been on that list, though. That’s why I included the cartoon. I suspect they’re one of Jesus’s pet peeves too; He used to gripe about people that call him “Lord” yet never did what he told them; and he ordered them to love one another, their neighbors, and their enemies. In other words, everyone. They don’t do that, yet they still call themselves Christian. I blame them every time a non-Christian calls us a bunch of hypocrites.

Again, it’s a pet peeve that God has to deal with. He manages to love them anyway; I still have to work at it.

Evil bastards in the laundry room.

One of my bigger pet peeves is when people are just destructively selfish.

Today each time I came back to the laundry room, someone had taken my things out of the machine she (likely a she) wanted to use, and left it elsewhere in the laundry room. Once it was even mixed with someone else’s wet clothes.

When stuff like this happens to me, I blow it off; life is too short to be upset by other people’s stupidity. But I’ve been thinking—it’s not just me that this person does this to. Likely she’s a self-centered jerk who only cares about getting her laundry done, quickly. She could give a rip about anyone’s stuff. But she needs someone to harsh on her—to have a little reality crack into her self-focused world—so that next time she will give a rip about someone’s stuff. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work, because such people are so self-centered that they take criticism as the critic’s problem, not theirs. She’d just go on her merry way, leaving piles of other people’s wrinkling laundry behind her.

Until she’s assaulted in a public laundromat. Nah; I’m being too optimistic again.

Stupid Internet Survey: What color am I?

You are light goldenrod yellow
Your dominant hues are red and green, so you're definately not afraid to get in and stir things up. You have no time for most people's concerns; you'd rather analyze with your head than be held back by some random "gut feeling". Your saturation level is very low; you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working. Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.
the spacefem.com html color quiz

What color am I? Uh… pale peach with brown spots.

Familiar with this?

So by checking a bunch of little boxes I have discovered that I like red and green, which I knew already; but the rest of it is utter crap. I overcommit myself. I analyze things to death because my gut feelings hold me back. I could care less if everyone thinks I'm working; I am working. I am more optimistic than many people, but I'm also more realistic than them too.

The only connection I have with light goldenrod yellow is that it's the color I was when I was born. (Jaundice, you see.) Quite obviously this quiz was not created by a trained psychologist.

Kung fu movies and visiting New Hope.

Kent’s Recommended Watch: Ang Lee:
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

---

Visited a church, then watched a kung fu movie. A little Christianity, a little Taoism.

Finally got around to watching my DVD of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. (Got it through Amazon about three weeks ago, but never had the time to watch it.)

Sundays are great for kicking back and watching a good movie. I find it fascinating how Taoism and the medieval European Great Chain of Being resemble one another. Most theologians think there’s something to that which indicates a common predilection towards order in humanity. That may be true, but it’s not something we can know for certain.

Funny how kung fu movies make me all philosophical.

The presidential debates.

Between the weaselly behavior and the habeas corpus violations, Bush annoys me.

I found the vice-presidential debate on CSPAN’s website and watched it. Likely I’ll watch the next presidential debate in the same way.

George W. Bush’s behavior annoys me in these debates. It’s because his personality reminds me of someone I used to work for; nice guy in public, says all the right things, very friendly and charismatic, and so forth. Then you get him back to the office and discover he’s a weasel. Now, I have no evidence that Bush is such a person. In fact, from what I’ve read about his public and private acts, I suspect that’s what type of person he used to be, possibly when he was drinking. He’s a recovering weasel.

Public prayer.

Kent’s Recommended Listen:

John Coltrane:
A Love Supreme (Deluxe Edition)

Playing right now: A Love Supreme is the album John Coltrane wrote for God. It shows. I just got the newly digitally remastered version, which fixed that glitch in track 1 and includes the live 1964 performace of A Love Supreme. (True jazz fans appreciate the difference.)

My public prayers were turning into performances, so I stopped doing that for now.

Today the campus has its 24-hour prayer thingy. I am all for prayer. I always need to pray more often. Gotta listen to God.

I am, on the other hand, getting more self-conscious about my public prayers.

Unwelcoming local churches.

My first Xanga post, which I’ve since ported all to Blogger. I was on Xanga till July 16, 2005.

I am a little annoyed with the churches I’ve been to in this area. I am looking for a church with friendly people. I know they’re out there; I’ve been to churches like that before. That’s the sort of church I join. But thus far I haven’t been to one in this area.

The first church I went to had great worship (led by Bethany people) and a decent sermon. The people didn’t say jack to me (except for the meet-’n’-greet part in the middle of the service that every pastor feels obligated to insert). Unfortunately that was just how the Bethany people liked it; after the service they hopped in their cars and scampered back to Bethany before the cafe ran out of waffle batter.

Liberal media bias.

There are a lot of liberals in the media. I know this firsthand because I used to be in the newspaper business and I worked with a lot of knee-jerk liberals. They’re nice people; fun to hang out with, great to party with, but you don’t want to start a political conversation with them or they’ll bite your head off.

I probably needed my head bitten off. For a long time I was a knee-jerk conservative, and when you put all us knee-jerk types in a room together you don’t get the best vibes. Knee-jerk anything, no matter what your political stripe, isn’t good. At first, the discussion begins with what you believe. But because it’s a knee-jerk belief (in other words, it’s a reflex, but there’s not a lot of depth to it) you can’t really get into why you believe what you do, or why it’s good to believe what you do; all you can do is say that you believe it. Loudly. And then it’s all downhill from there. Because when you can’t defend your position, the only debate tactic you have going for you is that your opponent is just as clueless as you are. Pretty soon you’re not debating the merits of your belief; you’re arguing about who’s stupider.

On Jesus movies.

Jesus movies I have seen, and what I think of them.

I’m a big fan of Jesus, and I also like movies. So naturally, I’d like to see the two come together. Unfortunately, they don’t always come together well.

Here’s a list of Jesus movies I have seen; some of which I own. I have them listed in the order that I like them: favorites to suckiest. This is not a comprehensive list, of course. But it’s a start.