Thumbs down on reviews.

Originally published in Countryside Post, Issue 2.4.

I’ve had to put off some people who have offered to write reviews for the Post—movie reviews, book reviews; you name it, they want to write what they think of it, and I don’t want to print it.

I don’t care for reviews. I find most of them useless; the only way I can tell whether I’d like a book or movie is by watching it. Few have the same criteria for picking entertainment anyway. We’re all entertained by different things. The only use for reviewers I have is that they tell me what something’s about, and I can get that from the advertisements.

That aside, the reason the Post doesn’t do reviews is that the Post covers local stuff, and most reviews are not of local things. The Prince of Egypt, fr’instance, is a nationally-distributed movie and is therefore not local; besides, it’s been out a month, and if you haven’t seen it by now, you’re waiting for the video.

Deadlines and Monday moveable feasts.

Originally published in Countryside Post, Issue 2.3.

Monday wasn’t really Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday, but the government has taken a tip from the church calendar and turned every holiday that isn’t on a Monday into a “moveable feast” so they can get three-day weekends. Since the Post uses a government agency called the U.S. Postal Service to distribute papers, we can’t give them the papers on those Mondays for Tuesday’s distribution. Instead, we have to give them the papers Friday, which means we have to print them the previous Thursday, which means you are now reading old news.

Heck, you’re always reading old news. Every newspaper writes its stuff the day before. You want up-to-the-second stuff, try TV, radio, and the Internet.

‘Your paper’ means you write for it.

Originally published in Countryside Post, Issue 2.2.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING WRITTEN UP IN COUNTRYSIDE POST, WRITE IT UP AND SEND IT IN.

I half wonder if I shouldn’t say this in every issue. It makes me tired when people complain that they attended an event and were disappointed when they didn’t see anything on it in their paper. Of course not—if you didn’t write anything about it, what makes you think anyone else did? Whatever happened to that saying, “If you want something done, you gotta do it yourself?”

How about that weather, eh?

Originally published in Countryside Post, Issue 2.1.

It’s an immediate indicator that the conversation well has run dry when someone starts talking about the weather. Therefore I won’t blame you if you skip reading this, ’cause it’s mostly about weather. Y’see, this is the first winter I’ve experienced in this area since moving here, and it’s been so cold that going to Lake Tahoe over Christmas was a relief. A relief to go someplace colder? Well, follow my logic: they’re prepared for it. The heater won’t run out of propane after one night, the pipes won’t freeze, and the hot water heater won’t burst and flood the office. Well, okay, it won’t burst there. It did burst here. So if you’re wondering why the Post’s website isn’t yet up to date, it’s because the computer got rained on. Expect the website to be updated soon; the computer’s dry now.