“All right,” I had said after someone did something annoying recently, “that’s going on the list!”
No it’s not. It wasn’t annoying enough. Plus, I shouldn’t make threats like that.
Stuff that is going on the list:
- People who ask obvious questions. When I’m doing homework, they come up to me and say, “Hey. Doing homework?” When I’m working on my laptop and desktop computers at the same time (which is typical; why use one computer when you can use two?) they’ll say, “Wow, are you using two computers at the same time?” When I’m in the lobby, they’ll ask, “So, you watching TV?” When I’m reading a book, it’s, “Reading a book, huh?” I understand that this is a college and the point is to make people smarter; I just wish the raw material wasn’t so raw sometimes.
- People who ask me “What’s up?” after I’ve just regained consciousness in the morning. Nothing is up. I’m not awake yet. I’m up, I suppose. But I’ve been very good about not saying the first thing that comes to my mind when they say that, which is usually something sarcastic like, “Your morning erection.” Gotta be a Christian. Gotta love your neighbor.
- The Macintoshes in the library. Not only do they sieze up every time I try to get them to do something, but because of them people assume every Mac does the same thing. So when people find out I have a Mac (or two), they complain what a sucky computer I have… yet they’ve never used it and don’t understand the significant difference between OS 9 (which the library computers run) and OS X (which my computers run, and as a result they run circles around other computers). But fortunately, because they don’t know how good my computers are, they never ask to borrow them. So there’s that.
- Getting my textbooks three days before the test. (I aced it anyway.)
- When Saturday events conflict with my Saturday classes.
- How people take certain professors less seriously because they have foreign accents.
- When the lemon bars in the cafΓ© begin to slowly peel away from the sides, and little cracks begin to form in the top. Then you know they’ve been sitting there for three days. That’s how long it takes for them to shrivel.
- When Taco Bell is described as Mexican food.
And there will be more. Oh yes, there will be more.