The big fat lecture, or as Bethany calls it, “town hall.”

Chapel this morning was a town hall. The women had their meeting, and the men had theirs, and in them the Resident Directors discussed dorm issues. Mainly it has to do how we’re acting like children. Our RD tried to avoid saying this, but not very successfully.

But the fact is that most of us on this campus have never lived anywhere but with our parents, and we don’t know how to behave like adults. I see examples of this all the time. Most of the things that annoy me about this campus are directly related to the immature behaviors of the teenagers and early-twentysomethings that populate this campus.

And, sad to say, a lot of times this college simply encourages the delayed childhood of most of these people. This isn’t the intention—the intention is to show Christian love and grace—but it’s obviously the result. If some of these people were simply presented with adult consequences, they’d grow up instantly.

Take fr’instnace the random acts of vandalism on this campus. Other schools don’t put up with such crap. If anyone is caught swapping couches, thrashing cushions, gumming doorknobs, and the like, they have to pay a nasty fine PLUS replacement costs PLUS community service. Otherwise it’s turned over to the local police, who will hand out the same penalties, plus you now have a police record.

What does Bethany College do?

“Dude, you can’t be doing that stuff. It’s not cool. You have to remember that you’re living in a community. That belongs to the community, not just you. Don’t make me turn our relationship into an adult-child one.”

It would be wonderful if that mini-lecture worked. For some it does. Unfortunately there are some hard-core a--holes on this campus who will do the same thing with that lecture that I did back when I heard similar things from my youth pastors: nod like I was taking them seriously, then go do whatever I bloody well felt like doing—and do a better job of not getting caught.

So instead of an actual town hall, we had a lecture about bad behavior that most of us tuned out ’cause it doesn’t really apply to us. I don’t clog drains, steal couches, or leave gum behind—I don’t even chew gum; I’m an Altoids man. And I had to be reminded that I’m living with freakin’ children. (But I gotta say—it’s a relief to live in a hall where the people are slightly more civilized.)