Mr. Squish’s memorial service.

When I first conceived this brilliant idea where Leonard Squish stayed dead, I figured I’d make it into a regular thing.

The characters in the strip would frequently refer to the recently departed Leonard, much like the Bloom County regulars kept referring to the recently departed Bill the Cat (until they cloned him). The strip would thereafter consist of Randall, Armand, and any other characters I added, and they’d continue the strip without him. And whenever it came up, “So why’s the strip still called ‘Mr. Squish’?” I could point out that I could rename it “Randall”… but there was no guarantee Randall wouldn’t get whacked at the end of the semester.

Nah. The strip would still be “Mr. Squish,” and regularly, to justify the name, they’d refer to the late Mr. Squish.

Yeah, dumb idea.

Mr. Squish is dead. Really most sincerely dead.

I killed off Leonard Squish in fall 1990, and I meant it. He was honest-to-goodness, no-fooling-around, dead.

Okay, some fooling around.

If you’re familiar with the term “comic book death,” you know when comic books kill someone, they never stay dead. They can always be brought back. Even when bringing ’em back would seriously mess up the storyline. Fr'instance Bruce Wayne’s parents, whose murder caused him to become Batman. If one of the Batman writers decided it’d be awesome to bring ’em back to life, via magic or some convoluted retcon or zombie science or Black Lantern power rings, they’ll be back before you can cry, Zatanna-style, “Srehtaefesroh!” Anyone can be brought back, and nearly everyone has. If you know of any exceptions, give it time. They’ll be back eventually.

Your vote matters. Sometimes.

In the United States it’s Election Day—one of ’em. According to the Constitution it’s the first Tuesday of November, ’cause they couldn’t make it Monday, ’cause back in the 1780s it might take you a whole day to travel to the polls, and religious folks didn’t wanna travel on Sunday. So, Tuesday. It’d be more convenient on a Saturday, but then again you can vote by mail, y’know.

The previous Election Day was back on 3 June, when we already voted for most of these people. California being a heavily Democratic state, the Democrats won by huge majorities. But the way our state’s elections work, there’s gotta be a runoff between the top two vote-getters in all the partisan offices. (Even if the top vote-getter had such a lead over all other candidates, there’s no point in any runoff. Which happened. Often.) So that’s what this election is: People looking at the ballot and saying, “I thought he lost. Why’s he on the ballot again?”

Hence turnout is expected to be low. Which is dumb, ’cause if enough people skip the election, and the number-two guy can mobilize his supporters, he might win this time around. But he likely won’t. The stats aren’t in their favor. I tell you though, if any of them actually pull it off, it’ll be the last time: Everyone will remember the freak occurrence.

Social media, October 2014.

WEDNESDAY, 1 OCTOBER.

Thoughts on the soul:

I imagine getting two guys: One who loves the songs, “My Soul Longs for You” and “It Is Well with My Soul,” and one who loves to speak against “soulish behavior.” Then for fun, lock ’em in a room together with nunchucks and pugil sticks, and have ’em sort out the definition.

Just ’cause.

THURSDAY, 2 OCTOBER.

There's way too much fear underlying way too many End Times interpretations.

Easiest way to keep the kids out of the toys in the closet: Casually mention “the closet spider.” The fact they can’t see it makes them even more anxious.

“All right, who in Publicity has been talking to Satan?”

And no, I’m not gonna ask you to share it with 10 people.

FRIDAY, 3 OCTOBER.

Now that the Left Behind movie is out, of course certain reviewers are gonna use it (and its lack of quality) as an excuse to be jerks, slam Christianity, and get revenge on all the Christians who behaved badly towards them in their childhood. I don’t have time for those reviews.

Then there are the reviews which correctly analyze how the “we’re outta here; go to hell, world!” theology of Left Behind is far from Christian; and how some of us really don’t want our loved ones to go to hell. [“What Nicolas Cage’s ‘Left Behind’ Says About Apocalyptic Christianity,” Alexander Joenks, Pajiba, 3 October 2014]

“There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain.”

Is it only me who finds it ironic how often the people who sing this song repeat this line, or parts of it, over and over and over and over and over again? Kinda like a long, unbroken… what’s the word I’m looking for?…

Yep, there’s cannibalism in this here children’s book.

Ebola news coverage.

SUNDAY, 5 OCTOBER.

We didn’t do this when I was in school. But I totally would have.

If your “prophecy” for me sounds exactly like something I’d get out of a fortune cookie, I’m gonna assume you’re a false prophet.

Oh, I’ll still keep an open mind; just a crack, anyway. I could always be wrong. But that’s just my knee-jerk reaction. Vague statements are for people who are doing nothing more than guessing. For what reason would God be vague?

Halloween with Linus and Mr. Squish.

Ran this one in Fall 1991. So yeah, it’s out of sequence, but appropriate for the day.

No, Leonard didn’t mean Linus any harm, which is why I tacked on that line, “Wanna buy a Fisher-Price chainsaw?” It’s Halloween; it’s a trick. The poor kid did need straightening out, in many ways.

Just for fun, let’s read a few things into Peanuts, shall we?

Lucy ran a psychiatry booth. Not the usual thing a little kid would do; put aside the fact Charles Schulz made the Peanuts gang do a lot of things little kids would do. Instead of a lemonade stand, she ran a psychiatry booth. Consider what sort of kid would come up with such an idea. Someone who figured she knew enough about psychiatry to peddle it to her friends, especially gullible ol’ Charlie Brown, right? Clearly someone who spent a lot of time with her own psychiatrist.

Mr. Squish goes to hell.

The Mr. Squish universe is a Calvinist one. In it Leonard was predestined for wrath. After—24-year-old spoiler coming—I had him killed in the last strip, I naturally sent him to hell.

I had one final strip for Fall 1990. I and Wayne, the cartoonist who produced “Squidman” for the Hornet, had entered a death pact: We were gonna kill off our main characters. His Teenage Martyr would finally succeed at one of his many threatened suicides, and I would have Leonard get whacked. But Wayne reneged.

When I drew this strip, I assumed the Teenage Martyr would hang himself off the Guy West Bridge, as expected, and decided to depict his afterlife. And Leonard’s. As shown above.

Mr. Squish meets Santa Claus.

Yeah, it’s not even Halloween yet, and we already have a Christmas strip. I’m gonna catch it from all the folks who are pitching a fit, “It’s too soon for Christmas sales! It’s too soon for Christmas decorations! What?—a Christmas strip? How dare you! Bah humbug!” And so on.

Well, I’m going through the strips more or less in order, and this one sets up the next dozen, so here ya go. Merry Christmas.

Now the backstory. Mr. Squish was obviously not the only strip in the Sac State Hornet in Fall 1990. Predating my strip was this fellow named Wayne Kunert, who drew a strip called, at the time, “Squidman.” (It changed names a few times since.) Because both Wayne’s strip and mine had titles with “squi” in them, this managed to completely confuse tons of inattentive, weed-addled Sac State students, who mixed up one with the other, or frappéd them together. “Oh,” I’d hear from time to time, “you’re the guy who draws Mr. Squidman.” So would Wayne. I found it amusing. Not sure Wayne did.