All my old AudioRANTS.

My misadventure in podcasting.

Every so often someone asks me about the podcast I did back in 2005, which I had titled AudioRANTS.

The reason it comes up is ’cause the podcasts are still out there on the internet. Back then I had no server space to host ’em on, so I stuck them on Internet Archive. Then I got the podcast posted on iTunes. Since every other podcast listing service in the world regularly goes digging through iTunes and steals all their links from them, this put AudioRANTS on every other podcast listing service… and from time to time someone will find the podcast, listen to the episodes, and wonder if I’m making any more.

Nice to be appreciated, but my usual response is that I have no plans to start it up again. I won’t say I never will, but after doing this batch I got the podcasting bug out of my system and don’t feel the urge to start it up again.

I took down the AudioRANTS site years ago, but I figured it might be best to have one blog entry on this site that links to all of them. So here they are.

Listen at your own risk. I make no claims of audio brilliance, profundity, or entertainment value. It’s just something I did, once upon a time.

“Crunchy” conservatives.

Some folks are trying to be real conservatives, but they appear to be just as unthinking as many of the folks in the movement.

I first read Rod Dreher’s Crunchy Con Manifesto on Ben Witherington’s blog, and found it sufficiently obnoxious enough to rant about.

Why “crunchy”? Probably because they don’t consider themselves to be soggy. Considering how most activism is really just an organized reaction to things people are dissatisfied about, Dreher, author of Crunchy Cons, decided to market his particular variety of conservatism by writing a creed, or “manifesto,” explaining what makes him so very different. I’ll list his points, with my commentary.

1. We are conservatives who stand outside the contemporary conservative mainstream. We like it here; the view is better, for we can see things that matter more clearly.

Yeah, that’s what every self-imagined non-conformist says. All of them claim to be outside the mainstream. God forbid any single one of them happen to be normal. Unless we’re ridiculed for being different… in which case we’re rather desperate to be considered normal, and try to argue convincingly that we really are normal and not really some zany fringe group like we’re depicted. If ever the Crunchy Cons get ostracized from the centers of political power because they’re seen as fringe elements or extremists, their organizers will make that same desperate lunge for the center, just to hold on to any pull they might have gained. Just like when Pat Buchanan left the Reform Party.

2. We believe that modern conservatism has become too focused on material conditions, and insufficiently concerned with the character of society. The point of life is not to become a more satisfied shopper.

It’s not just conservatism. It’s liberalism too. Your average progressive is encouraged to think about fair trade and global impact when they make their purchases, yet they’re never encouraged to think about whether they should make such purchases in the first place. They’re encouraged to ask, “Should my new car be environmentally friendly?” not, “Does a family with two drivers actually need a third car?” This is a valid point, but it’s not solely a conservative issue.

3. We affirm the superiority of the free market as an economic organizing principle, but believe the economy must be made to serve humanity’s best interests, not the other way around. Big business deserves as much skepticism as big government.

How on earth can you have a free market and the restraints upon it necessary to make it serve humanity’s best interests? Doesn’t this idiot understand that this statement is self-contradictory? He’s calling for both capitalism and socialism. This is like saying, “Americans shouldn’t have to pay taxes, but they must be required to finance their government.”

4. We believe that culture is more important than politics, and that neither America’s wealth nor our liberties will long survive a culture that no longer lives by what Russell Kirk identified as “the Permanent Things”—those eternal moral norms necessary to civilized life, and which are taught by all the world’s great wisdom traditions.

On the contrary. In rejecting the “Permanent Things,” we are moving the country towards more liberties and more wealth. Fr’instance, we’re in the process of legalizing gambling. It started with Nevada and New Jersey, spread to the state lotteries, Indian reservations, and Mississippi River, and is making lots of money on the internet. More people are free to gamble; more people are making money off it. Porn, prostitution, and drugs are rapidly following. The decay of morality means greater freedom to sin, and great profit to be made from sinful behaviors. America’s widening freedoms are turning us more and more the “Great Satan” that the Muslims already call us.

5. A conservatism that does not recognize the need for restraint, for limits, and for humility is neither helpful to individuals and society nor, ultimately, conservative. This is particularly true with respect to the natural world.

Very true. Probably the only profound statement Dreher makes.

6. A good rule of thumb: Small and Local and Old and Particular are to be preferred over Big and Global and New and Abstract.

In my experience as a reporter, small business and local government is often just as corrupt, and much less accountable, than big business and big government. Small and local does not mean noble. Small means small. Local means local. Same with any other adjective. Old and particular ideas can be just as evil as new and abstract ideas.

7. Appreciation of aesthetic quality—that is, beauty—is not a luxury, but key to the good life.

Nah. It’s appreciation of the inherent goodness in an object. I would rather have a good, functioning car than a snazzy one. I would rather have an honest, faithful wife than a gorgeous one. I would rather worship a good God than a popular one. Beauty is superficial and misleading, which is why Satan appears as an angel of light.

8. The cacophony of contemporary popular culture makes it hard to discern the call of truth and wisdom. There is no area in which practicing asceticism is more important.

You mean a person who watches a lot of movies can’t tell the difference between fact and fiction? No wonder you and your kind are so paranoid about The Da Vinci Code. I am not confused by pop culture because I have been taught to critically think. Anyone who has been taught critical thinking can discern truth; anyone who prays and reads scripture regularly can learn the Holy Spirit’s wisdom. Depriving yourself can’t teach this to you; you can’t practice your thinking skills when you’re deprived of things to think about. There is a purpose behind asceticism, but it’s not to clear your head so you can think. It’s so you can listen. You need to learn to think regardless of the cacophany.

9. We share Kirk’s conviction that “the best way to rear up a new generation of friends of the Permanent Things is to beget children, and read to them in the evenings, and teach them what is worthy of praise: the wise parent is the conservator of ancient truths…. The institution most essential to conserve is the family.”

True. But unfortunately many families are dysfunctional. So while we work to conserve functional families, we need to likewise create support systems to make up for the poor child-rearing of dysfunctional families. And I don’t mean prisons. I mean better public schools, pop culture that encourages good behavior rather than consumerism, and incentive systems that teach people to be better parents. Otherwise all you’re rearing up are isolated exceptions to the rule.

10. Politics and economics will not save us. If we are to be saved at all, it will be through living faithfully by the Permanent Things, preserving these ancient truths in the choices we make in everyday life. ln this sense, to conserve is to create anew.

If we are to be saved at all, it is through Jesus Christ and a relationship with him, not by following the Permanent Things (or the Law, or the Tao, or whatever you else want to call it). It is to obey him and demonstrate this obedience by loving those who don’t obey regardless. And again—because I have to be logical in all this—exactly what fool writes a political manifesto in which he denounces the very politics he claims to embrace?

Maybe they’re crunchy because they crumble so easily.

Buyer's remorse.

Kerry’s getting married!

I say this because my sister Kerry likes to greet people by saying, “I’m getting married!” which she won’t be able to say anymore in a month or so, which will mean she’ll have to come up with a new saying. Probably “I got married!” or something like that.

Thank God, for her wedding I don’t have to wear another stupid tuxedo. But I figured I should wear something nice, and since all the suits I have in my closet are secondhand junk, I decided it was time for me to finally buy some decent threads. “Decent” means “not another polyester monstrosity from the Salvation Army that I can wash in the regular cycle.” I wanted something lightweight, made of wool and silk, custom-fitted, and no more than $500 including tax and alterations.

My budget, by the way, is not based on what I can afford. I can afford better. My budget is based on what I want to pay for something. If I can’t find something for the price I want, I don’t buy it. This is why I don’t yet have a video iPod; I’m not paying more than $200 for it, and I’m not getting one until I can find it for that amount. Some call it cheap. I call it setting my own value on something.

My budget put me at the Men’s Wearhouse in Capitola on Saturday. They frequently advertise suits at $200, which is an old marketing strategy to get you into the store to get the cheap suit, and then you wind up finding a nicer one for “only” $300, and talk yourself into spending the extra $100 because the nicer suit is so much nicer. My chances were good at staying within my budget.

The Men’s Wearhouse also has another strategy. They try to sell you an ensemble, not just a suit. Yes, you’ll have a suit, but what shirt will you wear with it? What tie? How about shoes? And it makes sense. Why buy a custom-fitted suit, then wear your lousy $10 Walmart sneakers and your $4 thrift-store collared shirt under it? So they sold me on the shoes, some dress socks, two shirts, two ties to go with the shirts… and I went $350 over my budget, but I figured I could afford it, and I'd look good.

It was on the bus ride home that this started to annoy me.

I had a budget of $500. I spent, instead, more than $800. For what? Two shirts, two ties, socks, and shoes. Good quality clothing, but have I ever spent that much on those individual items? I looked my receipt over. Have I ever spent more than $30 on a pair of shoes? No. What, then, was I doing spending $135 on a pair of shoes? Did I like them? Well, I liked them better than the other shoes in the store, but they weren’t particularly comfortable, and felt a little loose in the toe and heel, and stiff otherwise. I wear sandals 90 percent of the time anyway; all shoes feel uncomfortable to me, but the last thing I need at a wedding is to be constantly agitated by uncomfortable shoes. And it was already an uncomfortable price.

“All right,” I figured, “when I go back to pick the suit after it had been altered, I’m returning the shoes.” I looked again at the receipt. “And the socks. I’m not spending $20 for socks.”

Saturday night, as I was going to bed, I decided to look at that receipt again.

The shirts were $55 apiece. They’re nice shirts, and it’s really difficult to find shirts in my neck size. I have a size 19 neck. (Go ahead and make your wisecracks about it.) Most shirts made for a size 19 neck are 2XL or 3XL, which means I look like I’m wearing a small pup tent, especially with all the extra fabric on the sleeves. But in my mind, shirts should be no more than $30. So, back they’d go. The ties—one was $20 and one was $30. Those are normal prices for silk ties. But I have ties, and like them better. Back they’d go.

And Sunday morning, I decided I wasn’t going to wait until next week to return everything; I was doing it today.

The salesman didn’t look too pleased when I returned all my merchandise. “You’re still getting the suit?” he asked, and of course I said yes. If I like how the alterations come out, I’ll likely get many more suits from them. The prices are good. But I couldn’t justify the extra expense to myself.

Besides, I have yet to buy wedding presents.

Amusing comic strip: Hong Kong Jesus.

Sinfest by Tatsuya Ishida, 5/22/2006

Saw the new 𝘟-𝘔𝘦𝘯 movie.

Yesterday, while walking home from the library, a bird tried to land on my head. Three times. It was like a scene out of The Birds, only with just one of them. What the heck was that about?

Tonight I saw X-Men 3, which didn’t suck as much as the internet reviews made it out to. I think professional movie reviewers forget that your average movie-watcher will be perfectly happy with a decent plot that noticeably advances, believable enough acting without over-emoting, special effects that don’t look like the computer animation from VeggieTales, and humor that doesn’t confuse socially offensive with funny.

…Actually, your average movie-watcher would put up with a movie that didn’t have any of those things so long as someone attractive flashed a boob. In my case, however, I want all those things in the movies I watch, and am happy when they’re in there and annoyed when they’re not. In the case of X-Men 3 the plot was decent, the acting was decent, the special effects were entertaining, and the producers are retarded if they don’t make another sequel. And don’t worry about killing off more characters; there are plenty of mutants to replace ’em with.

That’s what the X-Men comic books are all about: Replacements. You write a bunch of comic book superheros, each with a superpower or two to keep ’em interesting, put them in a book and let them percolate among the fans. The more popular ones get their own books and leave—to be replaced by more new mutants. The less popular ones turn evil (and thus become more interesting) or get killed off or disappear or something. Once the popular ones become boring, rotate in the new mutants. The fans keep reading, the money keeps pouring in, and everyone’s happy.

Tomorrow I have to buy clothes. I hate shopping for clothes. It’s gotta be done, though. Hope no more birds attack.

𝘌𝘯𝘳𝘰𝘯: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘎𝘶𝘺𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘙𝘰𝘰𝘮.

Kent’s Recommended Watch:
Alex Gibney:
Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room

Enron executives Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling were convicted today of fraud and conspiracy in their attempts to hide Enron’s losses from investors. Read the FoxNews article.

Coincidentally, I finally got this documentary, Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room from Blockbuster, after waiting six weeks to see it. I watched it Tuesday. It’s pretty fascinating; it’s another cautionary tale of good old fashioned greed taking over good old fashioned capitalism.

The folks who ran Enron really just wanted to make lots of money, didn’t care how they did it so long as they could get away with it, and did… with help from the SEC, several prominent investment banks, the Arthur Andersen accounting firm, and every shareholder who only looked at Enron’s soaring stock prices and never asked what the basis was for this continuing upward climb. It was also entertaining to watch Enron’s energy traders mess with California during our recent energy crisis. (The documentary claims they created the problem; I think we created our own problem by botching energy deregulation, allowing Enron to easily take advantage.)

One of the people I watched this with was stunned at how much Enron got away with—and how much complicity went on in order to enable Enron to get away with it. But human evil never surprises me anymore. One learns to expect it, especially when humans are tempted with tremendous sums of money or power. The amazing thing is when they aren’t corrupted by it. The amazing thing is when people voluntarily give up power. That’s what we find so unbelievable; I have no trouble with the idea of people trying to seize more and more until it becomes their undoing.

I should warn you though. Parts of this video should be renamed Enron: The Most Gratuitous Nudity Ever Seen in a Documentary. There’s a bit in the middle about a Enron executive named Lou Pei who had a thing for strippers, and the documentarians decided some good images to show in the background might be that of topless strippers. So think twice before using this documentary in a classroom.

Christian meditation.

One of the bigger problems that the western church has suffered in the past 40 or so years is it doesn’t encourage meditation anymore.

Meditation, which we read about in the Psalms, is quite simply taking a passage of scripture and turning it over in your head. It doesn’t necessarily have to be scripture; it could be a prayer to God, or something God told you, or anything like that. You just have to eliminate all the other distractions around you that could get your mind to wander—obnoxious music, noise from the TV, ringing telephones, and so forth—and just concentrate on the words God has given you, and ask for the Holy Spirit to enlighten you. And see if you don't hear him talking to you quite clearly.

The problem is this sounds much too much like eastern meditation. And of course it would. Both are forms of meditation. Eastern meditation is different in that you clear your mind. Middle eastern meditation requires you to fill your mind—with the word of God.

Unfortunately, there are some idiots who are so convinced that any meditation is evil—that any resemblance to eastern meditation means it’s a devilish scheme to corrupt Christianity—that they’re trying to anathematize Christians who do this. They can’t believe it’s God speaking to the people who meditate on his word; it must be a temptation from the devil. Dispensationalists in particular believe God doesn’t talk to his people any more; he stopped talking once scripture was written, because he supposedly said everything he needed to say. Seems to me any teaching that shuts off God from speaking to his people would be devilish, and any teaching that discourages meditation on God’s word would make a person the least in the kingdom of heaven.

To be fair, if you’ve been wrapped up in eastern meditation, it takes a while to snap out of the mindless nonsense and meditate properly. But to chuck all forms of meditation just because you’ve been doing it wrong—well, it’s as if you said, “Up to this point I have been eating nothing but junk food. I must reform. So I will stop eating altogether.” Or it’s as if you decided that because you were wrongly praying to Krishna, prayer is wrong and you shouldn’t pray to YHWH either.

It’s just dumb. And it encourages the worst kind of stupidity. People who don’t meditate will never get beyond a certain point in their Christian walk. They’ll be too busy looking out for heresy and compromise to ever get any deeper in their relationship with God.

They won’t ingrain any Scriptures in their heart. They might think they have, ’cause they’ve memorized some favorite verses. ’Tain’t the same thing. I’ve memorized lots of verses, but I never did anything with them—and they never did anything to me—until I meditated on them. If I never meditated on them, I’d be reciting them whenever I wanted to prove a point, but they wouldn’t have changed my life; they’d simply be another tool in an arsenal I could use to knock other Christians around with my brilliance.

And if these people never hear God talk—and they’re convinced he simply doesn't do that any more—we can obviously see why.