Kerry’s getting married!
I say this because my sister Kerry likes to greet people by saying, “I’m getting married!” which she won’t be able to say anymore in a month or so, which will mean she’ll have to come up with a new saying. Probably “I got married!” or something like that.
Thank God, for her wedding I don’t have to wear another stupid tuxedo. But I figured I should wear something nice, and since all the suits I have in my closet are secondhand junk, I decided it was time for me to finally buy some decent threads. “Decent” means “not another polyester monstrosity from the Salvation Army that I can wash in the regular cycle.” I wanted something lightweight, made of wool and silk, custom-fitted, and no more than $500 including tax and alterations.
My budget, by the way, is not based on what I can afford. I can afford better. My budget is based on what I want to pay for something. If I can’t find something for the price I want, I don’t buy it. This is why I don’t yet have a video iPod; I’m not paying more than $200 for it, and I’m not getting one until I can find it for that amount. Some call it cheap. I call it setting my own value on something.
My budget put me at the Men’s Wearhouse in Capitola on Saturday. They frequently advertise suits at $200, which is an old marketing strategy to get you into the store to get the cheap suit, and then you wind up finding a nicer one for “only” $300, and talk yourself into spending the extra $100 because the nicer suit is so much nicer. My chances were good at staying within my budget.
The Men’s Wearhouse also has another strategy. They try to sell you an ensemble, not just a suit. Yes, you’ll have a suit, but what shirt will you wear with it? What tie? How about shoes? And it makes sense. Why buy a custom-fitted suit, then wear your lousy $10 Walmart sneakers and your $4 thrift-store collared shirt under it? So they sold me on the shoes, some dress socks, two shirts, two ties to go with the shirts… and I went $350 over my budget, but I figured I could afford it, and I'd look good.
It was on the bus ride home that this started to annoy me.
I had a budget of $500. I spent, instead, more than $800. For what? Two shirts, two ties, socks, and shoes. Good quality clothing, but have I ever spent that much on those individual items? I looked my receipt over. Have I ever spent more than $30 on a pair of shoes? No. What, then, was I doing spending $135 on a pair of shoes? Did I like them? Well, I liked them better than the other shoes in the store, but they weren’t particularly comfortable, and felt a little loose in the toe and heel, and stiff otherwise. I wear sandals 90 percent of the time anyway; all shoes feel uncomfortable to me, but the last thing I need at a wedding is to be constantly agitated by uncomfortable shoes. And it was already an uncomfortable price.
“All right,” I figured, “when I go back to pick the suit after it had been altered, I’m returning the shoes.” I looked again at the receipt. “And the socks. I’m not spending $20 for socks.”
Saturday night, as I was going to bed, I decided to look at that receipt again.
The shirts were $55 apiece. They’re nice shirts, and it’s really difficult to find shirts in my neck size. I have a size 19 neck. (Go ahead and make your wisecracks about it.) Most shirts made for a size 19 neck are 2XL or 3XL, which means I look like I’m wearing a small pup tent, especially with all the extra fabric on the sleeves. But in my mind, shirts should be no more than $30. So, back they’d go. The ties—one was $20 and one was $30. Those are normal prices for silk ties. But I have ties, and like them better. Back they’d go.
And Sunday morning, I decided I wasn’t going to wait until next week to return everything; I was doing it today.
The salesman didn’t look too pleased when I returned all my merchandise. “You’re still getting the suit?” he asked, and of course I said yes. If I like how the alterations come out, I’ll likely get many more suits from them. The prices are good. But I couldn’t justify the extra expense to myself.
Besides, I have yet to buy wedding presents.