Social media, October 2011.

SATURDAY, 1 OCTOBER.

Ah, Cracked. Sometimes they get it exactly right… despite their sophomoric fixation with naughty words. “4 Idiots Who Show Up Wherever Religion Is Discussed Online,” 1 October 2011.

SUNDAY, 2 OCTOBER.

Had Jesus given us nothing but teachings—no miracles nor resurrection—would we skip reading the Gospels like we skip reading the Prophets?

TUESDAY, 4 OCTOBER.

She. “You like pushing the envelope, don’t you?”
Me. “Envelopes are meant to be ripped open.”

The Have Nots once again yelling at the Haves.

How Occupy Wall Street is like the Chinese democracy movement.

This may sound familiar. But history does tend to repeat itself.

Way back in 1989, a bunch of young Chinese students got fed up with the way things were going in their country and decided to occupy a public place—Tiananmen Square, Beijing—and stage a non-violent public protest. They wanted the powers-that-be to stop hoarding the powers they had. They wanted something more democratic. Their protest lasted about seven weeks, and spread to a few other cities; Shanghai, Wuhan, Xi’an, and so forth. They got the world’s attention.

What triggered it? Deregulation. China was finally moving from a fixed economy to a market economy. Ultimately that was a good thing, but at the time it triggered some upheaval. Since prices were artificially low, suddenly there was an economic recession, high inflation, and job insecurity. College graduates were frustrated that there would be no place for them in the new economy. So they wanted some more say in the way things were run. They wanted democracy.

They didn’t get it.

Social media, September 2011.

THURSDAY, 1 SEPTEMBER.

“God is a concept by which we measure our pain”—John Lennon. Almost the opposite of “God is love.” Says a lot about the Christians he knew.

FRIDAY, 2 SEPTEMBER.

The stuff you’re trying to hide may not publicly define you, but it defines you more accurately.

SUNDAY, 4 SEPTEMBER.

A lot of the same folks who object to Darwinism in the schools have no problem practicing social Darwinism in their judgment of the needy.

WEDNESDAY, 7 SEPTEMBER.

Park littered with condoms this morning. Do not want to know why.

I suspect partly why I don’t mind walking home in the dark is ’cause I was never taught to fear rapists. (Not sure if that’s a good thing.)

SUNDAY, 11 SEPTEMBER.

Let’s see, ten years ago… I was printing out some classwork before school started, when one of my students burst into the room with the news. So I figured since everyone was gathered around the radios and TVs, the copier was free.

I know, it sounds heartless of me. But that’s how I cope: I put aside the emotions and stick to what I gotta do right now. I mourn when there’s time. That wasn’t the time. That was the time to comfort the kids.

MONDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER.

I don’t care if peeing in the shower saves money. A urine-free shower is worth it.

Waiter. “…Wine list?”
Patron. “Wine? I thought this restaurant was run by Christians.”
Waiter. “It sure is. Our wine comes out of the tap.”

FRIDAY, 16 SEPTEMBER.

Ever notice how doctor-patient confidentiality is a thing of the past on Star Trek? Those doctors blab everything. “Yep, Sulu has herpes.”

SUNDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER.

God’s vision is bigger than any one person can contain. That’s why it takes a whole church to bring it into being—not just your pastors.

Downtown at the Vacaville Jazz Festival. There are less than ten of us here, including the guitarist. Yeesh.

MONDAY, 19 SEPTEMBER.

How is it I never knew the Brothers Johnson made a gospel album? Oh yeah, time for worship & funk.

WEDNESDAY, 21 SEPTEMBER.

So R.E.M. broke up. Relax, kids: It’s not the end of the world as we know it.

The new live-feed thingy in the upper right corner of Facebook: All it does is tell me that certain individuals spend a lot of time commenting on every frickin’ Facebook post they see. Which I knew already. I didn’t need to see it live.

Bit the bullet and signed into Google+. Let’s see if I'll regret it as much as joining Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Xanga… the internet…

THURSDAY, 22 SEPTEMBER.

Breakfast on the patio. It’s the only time of day the weather is pleasant. (It’s also warmer indoors.)

FRIDAY, 23 SEPTEMBER.

You know the status update that says, “Please change my settings so you can’t see the comments I make to others”? That’s a big red flag that those are the people with the comments worth reading. Thankfully, they comment so often that you don’t have to wish there were some way to push their comments to the top.

Third day of flu. Mild but still debilitating. Hard to recover when the 100-degree weather is preventing sleep. Hope that puddle is sweat…

SATURDAY, 24 SEPTEMBER.

Not so sure we should use the term “working like a dog.” The dogs I know don't work. Unless lying around licking yourself counts as work.

SUNDAY, 25 SEPTEMBER.

One of my Facebook friends is a bit of a pedo. It’s why the “people you may know” box on my page keeps displaying postpubescent girls. He’s the “mutual friend”—if by “friend” we actually mean “creepy stalker old guy.”

Hey, Fox News: Stop calling them “job creators” until they actually create more jobs than they’ve eliminated.

MONDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER.

If I were an OB/GYN, and performed five abortions for every two deliveries, would you call me a baby doctor? But I’d be more deserving of the title than some billionaire, who's eliminated five positions for every new one, deserves the title “job creator.”

The devil won’t kick our butts so much once we stop bending over.

TUESDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER.

Not seeing enough people at your church get slain in the Spirit? Easily fixed. When they come forward for prayer, taser them.

Social media, October 2010.

FRIDAY, 2 OCTOBER.

Aaron, playing with blocks. “I’m making people.”
Me. “You don’t get to do that till you’re an adult… Oh you’re making block people. Okay.”

One of these years my comments aren’t gonna go over his head anymore and I’m gonna be in so much trouble.

Sometimes I wonder if the music chosen for stores’ PA systems isn’t carefully chosen to be just irritating enough that you’ll hurry up and make a purchase just to get away from it.

MONDAY, 5 OCTOBER.

While I respect your enthusiasm for the participants of TV game shows, I am going to sit out the voting, thank you very much. I have other interests.

Well, other TV shows.

The librarians are taking pictures around the library today. I suspect I’m gonna wind up in their promotional material.

Social media, September 2010.

WEDNESDAY, 1 SEPTEMBER.

Have you ever had a song running through your head, yet what really annoyed you about it was that it was running in the wrong key?

Thank God we live in the era after deodorant was invented, because man alive, there are some funky people in the library, and I can’t imagine a worldful.

FRIDAY, 3 SEPTEMBER.

I’m getting profoundly tired of things that demand, “If you agree, press ‘like.’”

TUESDAY, 7 SEPTEMBER.

Came down with a bug; it’s starting to feel like a head cold, but it might just be fall allergies starting early.

WEDNESDAY, 8 SEPTEMBER.

Another day full of possibilities! …but I’m not feeling well, so screw ’em.

THURSDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER.

For those of you who want a Jehovah’s Witness vampire story instead of a Mormon one, here’s the entire JW version of Twilight. Chapter 1: “Have you ever heard of a boy named Edward Cullen?” Bella asked. “Oh yeah,” said Jacob; “he died a long, long time ago of starvation.” “How sad,” Bella said. The End.

Before we vote to throw the bums out, perhaps we should take a closer look at the bums that might replace them.

SUNDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER.

Religion without relationship is dead. Relationship without religion is shallow.

TUESDAY, 14 SEPTEMBER.

Enjoy life now. Otherwise it’ll become fuel for a bitter old age. Some of you already know what I’m talking about.

Whenever we get offended, it means someone has blasphemed our idol.

FRIDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER.

Little hard to do bible study with that one Cee Lo Green song in my head…

Just hid Foursquare. (The Facebook feature, not the church.) I don’t need to see where you are. You really don’t need to share it, either. As for me… just presume I’m within spitting distance of coffee.

SATURDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER.

If soylent green is people, why is it green?

Vacaville Jazz Festival today. But right now I’m just watching the facilities people set up.

Wynton Marsalis says jazz is democracy in action. But the way high school jazz bands play it, no it ain’t.

TUESDAY, 21 SEPTEMBER.

Once you’ve racked up more than 100 Facebook friends, you can afford to say something that makes a few of them de-friend you.

WEDNESDAY, 22 SEPTEMBER.

…I’m proud to be an American
Where at least I know I’m free
But if I have darker skin than you
Then I have to show ID…

“Everything happens for a reason”—No it doesn’t. If God does it there’s a reason. If God doesn’t do it, there may be a reason. Or no reason. And suffering for no reason, with misplaced hope, is stupid.

FRIDAY, 24 SEPTEMBER.

When your advice isn’t consistent two days in a row, don’t be surprised when I never ask you for it.

Anyone who hates their leaders has obviously been shirking their Christian responsibility to pray for their leaders. (And not in that sarcastic, Psalm 109 kind of prayer.)

SUNDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER.

Freedom is not achieved through politics, but through dying to the things of this world. Those who don’t know the difference haven’t died yet.

MONDAY, 27 SEPTEMBER.

It’s Monday! It’s the start of a whole new work week!! Time to fake enthusiasm!!!

TUESDAY, 28 SEPTEMBER.

Aaron. “I smell your coffee… I want to drink coffee when I get big.”
Me. “Well, maybe when you’re five.”

So, TV watchers, what’s your favorite new show for the year? …Or are there any worth bothering with?

WEDNESDAY, 29 SEPTEMBER.

Christianity is a religion, not a relationship. Being -ian (as in Jeffersonian or Wesleyan) means you’re a follower, and -ianity is how you follow. That’s religion. Claiming it’s not a religion means you’re trying to have the label without the lifestyle.

Social media, October 2009.

FRIDAY, 2 OCTOBER.

Starbucks’ new instant coffee tastes like instant. But it’s better than others I’ve tried.

Cooking and Facebooking.

SATURDAY, 3 OCTOBER.

Accidentally confused Matt Nathanson’s “Come On Get Higher” with a Christian worship song. I can’t help it that the damn things all sound alike.

Worship leaders need to stop making us sing, “They will dance with joy like we’re dancing now.” Because we aren’t. (Of course, I sing “sitting now.”)

They also need to stop making the non-charismatics sing “I will daily lift my hands.”

SUNDAY, 4 OCTOBER.

My dad would buy this.

@merciless365.eth Saturday Night Live Mostly Garbage #best of #JasonSudeikis #commercial #dog #food #snl #comedy #parody #fyp #ChimeHasYourBack ♬ original sound - Eric Cummings

The only trouble with congratulating someone on Facebook is that suddenly you’re swamped with notifications about everyone else in creation (which is about the size of their “friends” list) congratulating them as well.

Social media, September 2009.

WEDNESDAY, 2 SEPTEMBER.

So many at work are thinking of their next job.

Running a 103° temperature. And thanks to it being that temperature, I now have that stupid Foreigner song “Hot Blooded” in my head. Oh well; better that than Lil’ Wayne.

FRIDAY, 4 SEPTEMBER.

There’s a difference between not liking your country, and not liking your country the way it is. But if you like the country the way it is, you need to move to Iran or someplace where they fight change. America has always been about change.

SATURDAY, 5 SEPTEMBER.

Your testimony is about what you’ve learned. Your sermon is about what you’re struggling with.

TUESDAY, 8 SEPTEMBER.

The day after Labor Day. Back to labor.

WEDNESDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER.

I find the average result of the average Facebook quiz tells me nothing about you except that you like to take Facebook quizzes. And that you’re a retard if you take them seriously.

THURSDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER.

The Weather Channel sucks at predicting Scotts Valley’s weather. They’re consistently 10 to 20 degrees off on hot days. But since they have no weather station in town—all the temperatures are extrapolated from Santa Cruz and Felton—it stands to reason.

SATURDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER.

I actually have a Saturday off. How about that.

Sunday too. Think I’ll spend it at the Greek Festival. (For you fraternity/sorority members, these would be actual Greek-Americans.)

It costs $99 to get your passport renewed. But it’s only $50 to get a fake one. Tempting.

My monitor went from 21 lines down the screen to 21 lines plus 3 inches of flickering red/cyan pixels right down the middle. I hope all you Mac fans have extended warranties—this could happen to you, and Apple will charge you at least $300 to fix it.

SUNDAY, 13 SEPTEMBER.

Greek Festival was excellent as usual. I gotta eat Greek food more often.

MONDAY, 14 SEPTEMBER.

The size of government correlates to the amount of sin in a nation. If people didn’t sin, we wouldn’t need governing.

TUESDAY, 15 SEPTEMBER.

Joy does not stand for Jesus/others/you. Serving God and others is not going to bring you joy unless you get rid of the lousy attitude. Otherwise you’re gonna be another passive-agressive hypocrite who makes others groan every time you volunteer, sucks all the joy out of the room, and creates misery instead of “help.”

I seem to always overeat when I have dinner at Don’s.

WEDNESDAY, 16 SEPTEMBER.

Too many people around here with swine flu. Stupid epidemics.

Purged a bunch of Facebook “friends.” They won’t miss me.

If all your status updates are about how you love Jesus, or Jesus is awesome, or bible verses, or some other spiritual “profundity”—and there’s no sign of struggle, growth, enlightenment, or dissatisfaction with where you currently are—I wonder. I wonder if you’re not just covering up a crappy relationship with God by overdoing it with all the God-talk.

THURSDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER.

“You’d better take care of me, Lord, because if You don’t, You’re gonna have me on Your hands.” —Hunter S. Thompson

FRIDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER.

…Nah. I got nothing.

SATURDAY, 19 SEPTEMBER.

Wore my “I don’t act like a Christian” shirt to church tonight. That shirt always confuses Christians. Pagans get it immediately.

MONDAY, 21 SEPTEMBER.

I don’t watch award shows ’cause anything relevant or interesting about them is in the news or posted immediately on YouTube. The same is true of sports, though most guys are still suckered into the idea that they might “miss” something…

Produce prices are making me wonder if I shouldn’t start a victory garden. Trouble is, we have deer in the area, and the stupid critters would eat everything.

TUESDAY, 22 SEPTEMBER.

I hate being on-call at work. It feels exactly like being unemployed.

THURSDAY, 24 SEPTEMBER.

Back from volunteering with Grey Bears. It’s always great to see the needy fed.

SATURDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER.

Too many Christians justify their bitterness by claiming the stuff they don’t like is non-Christian. And very little can stand up to their nitpicking. Not even Jesus would pass muster.

SUNDAY, 27 SEPTEMBER.

Which do you think is better: Deleting “friends” you don’t care about, or grudgingly keeping them—but blocking them from your Feed so that they don’t get in the way of the “friends” you do care about?

MONDAY, 28 SEPTEMBER.

All right, I’ve decided I’m no longer deleting useless Facebook “friends.” (Especially since I’m accidentally deleting non-useless ones.) I’m just gonna ignore them. So, if you never get any feedback from me again… be more interesting, wouldya?

TUESDAY, 29 SEPTEMBER.

Don’t confuse my getting up early with my being a morning person. I’m not awake at 5:30; I’m just up.

C.S. Lewis: “We all want progress. But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man.”