Social media, September 2011.

THURSDAY, 1 SEPTEMBER.

“God is a concept by which we measure our pain”—John Lennon. Almost the opposite of “God is love.” Says a lot about the Christians he knew.

FRIDAY, 2 SEPTEMBER.

The stuff you’re trying to hide may not publicly define you, but it defines you more accurately.

SUNDAY, 4 SEPTEMBER.

A lot of the same folks who object to Darwinism in the schools have no problem practicing social Darwinism in their judgment of the needy.

WEDNESDAY, 7 SEPTEMBER.

Park littered with condoms this morning. Do not want to know why.

I suspect partly why I don’t mind walking home in the dark is ’cause I was never taught to fear rapists. (Not sure if that’s a good thing.)

SUNDAY, 11 SEPTEMBER.

Let’s see, ten years ago… I was printing out some classwork before school started, when one of my students burst into the room with the news. So I figured since everyone was gathered around the radios and TVs, the copier was free.

I know, it sounds heartless of me. But that’s how I cope: I put aside the emotions and stick to what I gotta do right now. I mourn when there’s time. That wasn’t the time. That was the time to comfort the kids.

MONDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER.

I don’t care if peeing in the shower saves money. A urine-free shower is worth it.

Waiter. “…Wine list?”
Patron. “Wine? I thought this restaurant was run by Christians.”
Waiter. “It sure is. Our wine comes out of the tap.”

FRIDAY, 16 SEPTEMBER.

Ever notice how doctor-patient confidentiality is a thing of the past on Star Trek? Those doctors blab everything. “Yep, Sulu has herpes.”

SUNDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER.

God’s vision is bigger than any one person can contain. That’s why it takes a whole church to bring it into being—not just your pastors.

Downtown at the Vacaville Jazz Festival. There are less than ten of us here, including the guitarist. Yeesh.

MONDAY, 19 SEPTEMBER.

How is it I never knew the Brothers Johnson made a gospel album? Oh yeah, time for worship & funk.

WEDNESDAY, 21 SEPTEMBER.

So R.E.M. broke up. Relax, kids: It’s not the end of the world as we know it.

The new live-feed thingy in the upper right corner of Facebook: All it does is tell me that certain individuals spend a lot of time commenting on every frickin’ Facebook post they see. Which I knew already. I didn’t need to see it live.

Bit the bullet and signed into Google+. Let’s see if I'll regret it as much as joining Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Xanga… the internet…

THURSDAY, 22 SEPTEMBER.

Breakfast on the patio. It’s the only time of day the weather is pleasant. (It’s also warmer indoors.)

FRIDAY, 23 SEPTEMBER.

You know the status update that says, “Please change my settings so you can’t see the comments I make to others”? That’s a big red flag that those are the people with the comments worth reading. Thankfully, they comment so often that you don’t have to wish there were some way to push their comments to the top.

Third day of flu. Mild but still debilitating. Hard to recover when the 100-degree weather is preventing sleep. Hope that puddle is sweat…

SATURDAY, 24 SEPTEMBER.

Not so sure we should use the term “working like a dog.” The dogs I know don't work. Unless lying around licking yourself counts as work.

SUNDAY, 25 SEPTEMBER.

One of my Facebook friends is a bit of a pedo. It’s why the “people you may know” box on my page keeps displaying postpubescent girls. He’s the “mutual friend”—if by “friend” we actually mean “creepy stalker old guy.”

Hey, Fox News: Stop calling them “job creators” until they actually create more jobs than they’ve eliminated.

MONDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER.

If I were an OB/GYN, and performed five abortions for every two deliveries, would you call me a baby doctor? But I’d be more deserving of the title than some billionaire, who's eliminated five positions for every new one, deserves the title “job creator.”

The devil won’t kick our butts so much once we stop bending over.

TUESDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER.

Not seeing enough people at your church get slain in the Spirit? Easily fixed. When they come forward for prayer, taser them.