Social media, September 2010.

WEDNESDAY, 1 SEPTEMBER.

Have you ever had a song running through your head, yet what really annoyed you about it was that it was running in the wrong key?

Thank God we live in the era after deodorant was invented, because man alive, there are some funky people in the library, and I can’t imagine a worldful.

FRIDAY, 3 SEPTEMBER.

I’m getting profoundly tired of things that demand, “If you agree, press ‘like.’”

TUESDAY, 7 SEPTEMBER.

Came down with a bug; it’s starting to feel like a head cold, but it might just be fall allergies starting early.

WEDNESDAY, 8 SEPTEMBER.

Another day full of possibilities! …but I’m not feeling well, so screw ’em.

THURSDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER.

For those of you who want a Jehovah’s Witness vampire story instead of a Mormon one, here’s the entire JW version of Twilight. Chapter 1: “Have you ever heard of a boy named Edward Cullen?” Bella asked. “Oh yeah,” said Jacob; “he died a long, long time ago of starvation.” “How sad,” Bella said. The End.

Before we vote to throw the bums out, perhaps we should take a closer look at the bums that might replace them.

SUNDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER.

Religion without relationship is dead. Relationship without religion is shallow.

TUESDAY, 14 SEPTEMBER.

Enjoy life now. Otherwise it’ll become fuel for a bitter old age. Some of you already know what I’m talking about.

Whenever we get offended, it means someone has blasphemed our idol.

FRIDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER.

Little hard to do bible study with that one Cee Lo Green song in my head…

Just hid Foursquare. (The Facebook feature, not the church.) I don’t need to see where you are. You really don’t need to share it, either. As for me… just presume I’m within spitting distance of coffee.

SATURDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER.

If soylent green is people, why is it green?

Vacaville Jazz Festival today. But right now I’m just watching the facilities people set up.

Wynton Marsalis says jazz is democracy in action. But the way high school jazz bands play it, no it ain’t.

TUESDAY, 21 SEPTEMBER.

Once you’ve racked up more than 100 Facebook friends, you can afford to say something that makes a few of them de-friend you.

WEDNESDAY, 22 SEPTEMBER.

…I’m proud to be an American
Where at least I know I’m free
But if I have darker skin than you
Then I have to show ID…

“Everything happens for a reason”—No it doesn’t. If God does it there’s a reason. If God doesn’t do it, there may be a reason. Or no reason. And suffering for no reason, with misplaced hope, is stupid.

FRIDAY, 24 SEPTEMBER.

When your advice isn’t consistent two days in a row, don’t be surprised when I never ask you for it.

Anyone who hates their leaders has obviously been shirking their Christian responsibility to pray for their leaders. (And not in that sarcastic, Psalm 109 kind of prayer.)

SUNDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER.

Freedom is not achieved through politics, but through dying to the things of this world. Those who don’t know the difference haven’t died yet.

MONDAY, 27 SEPTEMBER.

It’s Monday! It’s the start of a whole new work week!! Time to fake enthusiasm!!!

TUESDAY, 28 SEPTEMBER.

Aaron. “I smell your coffee… I want to drink coffee when I get big.”
Me. “Well, maybe when you’re five.”

So, TV watchers, what’s your favorite new show for the year? …Or are there any worth bothering with?

WEDNESDAY, 29 SEPTEMBER.

Christianity is a religion, not a relationship. Being -ian (as in Jeffersonian or Wesleyan) means you’re a follower, and -ianity is how you follow. That’s religion. Claiming it’s not a religion means you’re trying to have the label without the lifestyle.