Social media, September 2010.

WEDNESDAY, 1 SEPTEMBER.

Have you ever had a song running through your head, yet what really annoyed you about it was that it was running in the wrong key?

Thank God we live in the era after deodorant was invented, because man alive, there are some funky people in the library, and I can’t imagine a worldful.

FRIDAY, 3 SEPTEMBER.

I’m getting profoundly tired of things that demand, “If you agree, press ‘like.’”

TUESDAY, 7 SEPTEMBER.

Came down with a bug; it’s starting to feel like a head cold, but it might just be fall allergies starting early.

WEDNESDAY, 8 SEPTEMBER.

Another day full of possibilities! …but I’m not feeling well, so screw ’em.

THURSDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER.

For those of you who want a Jehovah’s Witness vampire story instead of a Mormon one, here’s the entire JW version of Twilight. Chapter 1: “Have you ever heard of a boy named Edward Cullen?” Bella asked. “Oh yeah,” said Jacob; “he died a long, long time ago of starvation.” “How sad,” Bella said. The End.

Before we vote to throw the bums out, perhaps we should take a closer look at the bums that might replace them.

SUNDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER.

Religion without relationship is dead. Relationship without religion is shallow.

TUESDAY, 14 SEPTEMBER.

Enjoy life now. Otherwise it’ll become fuel for a bitter old age. Some of you already know what I’m talking about.

Whenever we get offended, it means someone has blasphemed our idol.

FRIDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER.

Little hard to do bible study with that one Cee Lo Green song in my head…

Just hid Foursquare. (The Facebook feature, not the church.) I don’t need to see where you are. You really don’t need to share it, either. As for me… just presume I’m within spitting distance of coffee.

SATURDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER.

If soylent green is people, why is it green?

Vacaville Jazz Festival today. But right now I’m just watching the facilities people set up.

Wynton Marsalis says jazz is democracy in action. But the way high school jazz bands play it, no it ain’t.

TUESDAY, 21 SEPTEMBER.

Once you’ve racked up more than 100 Facebook friends, you can afford to say something that makes a few of them de-friend you.

WEDNESDAY, 22 SEPTEMBER.

…I’m proud to be an American
Where at least I know I’m free
But if I have darker skin than you
Then I have to show ID…

“Everything happens for a reason”—No it doesn’t. If God does it there’s a reason. If God doesn’t do it, there may be a reason. Or no reason. And suffering for no reason, with misplaced hope, is stupid.

FRIDAY, 24 SEPTEMBER.

When your advice isn’t consistent two days in a row, don’t be surprised when I never ask you for it.

Anyone who hates their leaders has obviously been shirking their Christian responsibility to pray for their leaders. (And not in that sarcastic, Psalm 109 kind of prayer.)

SUNDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER.

Freedom is not achieved through politics, but through dying to the things of this world. Those who don’t know the difference haven’t died yet.

MONDAY, 27 SEPTEMBER.

It’s Monday! It’s the start of a whole new work week!! Time to fake enthusiasm!!!

TUESDAY, 28 SEPTEMBER.

Aaron. “I smell your coffee… I want to drink coffee when I get big.”
Me. “Well, maybe when you’re five.”

So, TV watchers, what’s your favorite new show for the year? …Or are there any worth bothering with?

WEDNESDAY, 29 SEPTEMBER.

Christianity is a religion, not a relationship. Being -ian (as in Jeffersonian or Wesleyan) means you’re a follower, and -ianity is how you follow. That’s religion. Claiming it’s not a religion means you’re trying to have the label without the lifestyle.

Social media, October 2009.

FRIDAY, 2 OCTOBER.

Starbucks’ new instant coffee tastes like instant. But it’s better than others I’ve tried.

Cooking and Facebooking.

SATURDAY, 3 OCTOBER.

Accidentally confused Matt Nathanson’s “Come On Get Higher” with a Christian worship song. I can’t help it that the damn things all sound alike.

Worship leaders need to stop making us sing, “They will dance with joy like we’re dancing now.” Because we aren’t. (Of course, I sing “sitting now.”)

They also need to stop making the non-charismatics sing “I will daily lift my hands.”

SUNDAY, 4 OCTOBER.

My dad would buy this.

@merciless365.eth Saturday Night Live Mostly Garbage #best of #JasonSudeikis #commercial #dog #food #snl #comedy #parody #fyp #ChimeHasYourBack ♬ original sound - Eric Cummings

The only trouble with congratulating someone on Facebook is that suddenly you’re swamped with notifications about everyone else in creation (which is about the size of their “friends” list) congratulating them as well.

Social media, September 2009.

WEDNESDAY, 2 SEPTEMBER.

So many at work are thinking of their next job.

Running a 103° temperature. And thanks to it being that temperature, I now have that stupid Foreigner song “Hot Blooded” in my head. Oh well; better that than Lil’ Wayne.

FRIDAY, 4 SEPTEMBER.

There’s a difference between not liking your country, and not liking your country the way it is. But if you like the country the way it is, you need to move to Iran or someplace where they fight change. America has always been about change.

SATURDAY, 5 SEPTEMBER.

Your testimony is about what you’ve learned. Your sermon is about what you’re struggling with.

TUESDAY, 8 SEPTEMBER.

The day after Labor Day. Back to labor.

WEDNESDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER.

I find the average result of the average Facebook quiz tells me nothing about you except that you like to take Facebook quizzes. And that you’re a retard if you take them seriously.

THURSDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER.

The Weather Channel sucks at predicting Scotts Valley’s weather. They’re consistently 10 to 20 degrees off on hot days. But since they have no weather station in town—all the temperatures are extrapolated from Santa Cruz and Felton—it stands to reason.

SATURDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER.

I actually have a Saturday off. How about that.

Sunday too. Think I’ll spend it at the Greek Festival. (For you fraternity/sorority members, these would be actual Greek-Americans.)

It costs $99 to get your passport renewed. But it’s only $50 to get a fake one. Tempting.

My monitor went from 21 lines down the screen to 21 lines plus 3 inches of flickering red/cyan pixels right down the middle. I hope all you Mac fans have extended warranties—this could happen to you, and Apple will charge you at least $300 to fix it.

SUNDAY, 13 SEPTEMBER.

Greek Festival was excellent as usual. I gotta eat Greek food more often.

MONDAY, 14 SEPTEMBER.

The size of government correlates to the amount of sin in a nation. If people didn’t sin, we wouldn’t need governing.

TUESDAY, 15 SEPTEMBER.

Joy does not stand for Jesus/others/you. Serving God and others is not going to bring you joy unless you get rid of the lousy attitude. Otherwise you’re gonna be another passive-agressive hypocrite who makes others groan every time you volunteer, sucks all the joy out of the room, and creates misery instead of “help.”

I seem to always overeat when I have dinner at Don’s.

WEDNESDAY, 16 SEPTEMBER.

Too many people around here with swine flu. Stupid epidemics.

Purged a bunch of Facebook “friends.” They won’t miss me.

If all your status updates are about how you love Jesus, or Jesus is awesome, or bible verses, or some other spiritual “profundity”—and there’s no sign of struggle, growth, enlightenment, or dissatisfaction with where you currently are—I wonder. I wonder if you’re not just covering up a crappy relationship with God by overdoing it with all the God-talk.

THURSDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER.

“You’d better take care of me, Lord, because if You don’t, You’re gonna have me on Your hands.” —Hunter S. Thompson

FRIDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER.

…Nah. I got nothing.

SATURDAY, 19 SEPTEMBER.

Wore my “I don’t act like a Christian” shirt to church tonight. That shirt always confuses Christians. Pagans get it immediately.

MONDAY, 21 SEPTEMBER.

I don’t watch award shows ’cause anything relevant or interesting about them is in the news or posted immediately on YouTube. The same is true of sports, though most guys are still suckered into the idea that they might “miss” something…

Produce prices are making me wonder if I shouldn’t start a victory garden. Trouble is, we have deer in the area, and the stupid critters would eat everything.

TUESDAY, 22 SEPTEMBER.

I hate being on-call at work. It feels exactly like being unemployed.

THURSDAY, 24 SEPTEMBER.

Back from volunteering with Grey Bears. It’s always great to see the needy fed.

SATURDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER.

Too many Christians justify their bitterness by claiming the stuff they don’t like is non-Christian. And very little can stand up to their nitpicking. Not even Jesus would pass muster.

SUNDAY, 27 SEPTEMBER.

Which do you think is better: Deleting “friends” you don’t care about, or grudgingly keeping them—but blocking them from your Feed so that they don’t get in the way of the “friends” you do care about?

MONDAY, 28 SEPTEMBER.

All right, I’ve decided I’m no longer deleting useless Facebook “friends.” (Especially since I’m accidentally deleting non-useless ones.) I’m just gonna ignore them. So, if you never get any feedback from me again… be more interesting, wouldya?

TUESDAY, 29 SEPTEMBER.

Don’t confuse my getting up early with my being a morning person. I’m not awake at 5:30; I’m just up.

C.S. Lewis: “We all want progress. But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man.”

Social media, October 2008.

WEDNESDAY, 1 OCTOBER.

Eaten a lot of brownies today. Probably too many.

THURSDAY, 2 OCTOBER.

I don’t fear death. Praying for those that do.

Wondering why it’s 90 degrees in Café Pergolesi. Maybe the thermostat is next to the open door. In any case, don’t sit indoors unless you like a good sauna.

FRIDAY, 3 OCTOBER.

At Mr. Toot’s Coffeehouse, where the temperature is much nicer.

Just found out Canada has a Marijuana Party. Probably the only party whose smoke-filled back rooms have nothing to do with picking candidates.

Social media, September 2008.

MONDAY, 1 SEPTEMBER.

Noticing that it’s September: Time to remove all the “friends” who haven’t contacted me since March. Bye-bye folks. Thanks for playing.

WEDNESDAY, 3 SEPTEMBER.

Watching The Station Agent.

I’ve gotta stop eating yogurt raisins. Apparently they’re a laxative.

THURSDAY, 4 SEPTEMBER.

Finally back from French class. Bon soir.

I’m not a hockey mom. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

FRIDAY, 5 SEPTEMBER.

Wondering how I’m getting to sleep tonight after six cups of coffee. Guess I'm not!

SUNDAY, 7 SEPTEMBER.

Went to the Greek Festival. Man, that’s some good eating.

MONDAY, 8 SEPTEMBER.

Finally cancelled Blockbuster. If I wanted to wait six months for a movie to clear a queue, I would have ordered it from the public library.

TUESDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER.

Drinking tea at Café Pergolesi. You totally wish you were me right now.

WEDNESDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER.

Listening to John Cleese read The Screwtape Letters.

THURSDAY, 11 SEPTEMBER.

Back at Café Pergolesi, drinking an Americano ’cause they don’t brew decaf this late.

FRIDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER.

Going to Vacaville for the weekend. Hope the weather doesn’t suck.

MONDAY, 15 SEPTEMBER.

In Vacaville. The weather is feh. Looking forward to Santa Cruz weather tomorrow.

TUESDAY, 16 SEPTEMBER.

Back in Santa Cruz, missing the family, but happy that it’s 15 degrees cooler than Vacaville. Man, was I pounding down the Virgin Marys in that heat.

THURSDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER.

I have less than 30 minutes…

Made it with 5 minutes to spare.

FRIDAY, 19 SEPTEMBER.

In the midst of a Mad Men marathon. (Hope the actors don’t come down with emphysema from all the smoking.)

TUESDAY, 23 SEPTEMBER.

I was here.

THURSDAY, 25 SEPTEMBER.

Ranted about money on my blog.

FRIDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER.

Thinking, “Hm. I could really go for a Starbucks iced coffee right now.” Except that my nearby Starbucks closes at 7 pm. What’s up with that?

SATURDAY, 27 SEPTEMBER.

Drinking coffee at Coffee Cat.

SUNDAY, 28 SEPTEMBER.

Now have four lines on my Mac’s monitor. One yellow, two cyan, one magenta. Dammit dammit dammit dammit.

All my old AudioRANTS.

My misadventure in podcasting.

Every so often someone asks me about the podcast I did back in 2005, which I had titled AudioRANTS.

The reason it comes up is ’cause the podcasts are still out there on the internet. Back then I had no server space to host ’em on, so I stuck them on Internet Archive. Then I got the podcast posted on iTunes. Since every other podcast listing service in the world regularly goes digging through iTunes and steals all their links from them, this put AudioRANTS on every other podcast listing service… and from time to time someone will find the podcast, listen to the episodes, and wonder if I’m making any more.

Nice to be appreciated, but my usual response is that I have no plans to start it up again. I won’t say I never will, but after doing this batch I got the podcasting bug out of my system and don’t feel the urge to start it up again.

I took down the AudioRANTS site years ago, but I figured it might be best to have one blog entry on this site that links to all of them. So here they are.

Listen at your own risk. I make no claims of audio brilliance, profundity, or entertainment value. It’s just something I did, once upon a time.

“Crunchy” conservatives.

Some folks are trying to be real conservatives, but they appear to be just as unthinking as many of the folks in the movement.

I first read Rod Dreher’s Crunchy Con Manifesto on Ben Witherington’s blog, and found it sufficiently obnoxious enough to rant about.

Why “crunchy”? Probably because they don’t consider themselves to be soggy. Considering how most activism is really just an organized reaction to things people are dissatisfied about, Dreher, author of Crunchy Cons, decided to market his particular variety of conservatism by writing a creed, or “manifesto,” explaining what makes him so very different. I’ll list his points, with my commentary.

1. We are conservatives who stand outside the contemporary conservative mainstream. We like it here; the view is better, for we can see things that matter more clearly.

Yeah, that’s what every self-imagined non-conformist says. All of them claim to be outside the mainstream. God forbid any single one of them happen to be normal. Unless we’re ridiculed for being different… in which case we’re rather desperate to be considered normal, and try to argue convincingly that we really are normal and not really some zany fringe group like we’re depicted. If ever the Crunchy Cons get ostracized from the centers of political power because they’re seen as fringe elements or extremists, their organizers will make that same desperate lunge for the center, just to hold on to any pull they might have gained. Just like when Pat Buchanan left the Reform Party.

2. We believe that modern conservatism has become too focused on material conditions, and insufficiently concerned with the character of society. The point of life is not to become a more satisfied shopper.

It’s not just conservatism. It’s liberalism too. Your average progressive is encouraged to think about fair trade and global impact when they make their purchases, yet they’re never encouraged to think about whether they should make such purchases in the first place. They’re encouraged to ask, “Should my new car be environmentally friendly?” not, “Does a family with two drivers actually need a third car?” This is a valid point, but it’s not solely a conservative issue.

3. We affirm the superiority of the free market as an economic organizing principle, but believe the economy must be made to serve humanity’s best interests, not the other way around. Big business deserves as much skepticism as big government.

How on earth can you have a free market and the restraints upon it necessary to make it serve humanity’s best interests? Doesn’t this idiot understand that this statement is self-contradictory? He’s calling for both capitalism and socialism. This is like saying, “Americans shouldn’t have to pay taxes, but they must be required to finance their government.”

4. We believe that culture is more important than politics, and that neither America’s wealth nor our liberties will long survive a culture that no longer lives by what Russell Kirk identified as “the Permanent Things”—those eternal moral norms necessary to civilized life, and which are taught by all the world’s great wisdom traditions.

On the contrary. In rejecting the “Permanent Things,” we are moving the country towards more liberties and more wealth. Fr’instance, we’re in the process of legalizing gambling. It started with Nevada and New Jersey, spread to the state lotteries, Indian reservations, and Mississippi River, and is making lots of money on the internet. More people are free to gamble; more people are making money off it. Porn, prostitution, and drugs are rapidly following. The decay of morality means greater freedom to sin, and great profit to be made from sinful behaviors. America’s widening freedoms are turning us more and more the “Great Satan” that the Muslims already call us.

5. A conservatism that does not recognize the need for restraint, for limits, and for humility is neither helpful to individuals and society nor, ultimately, conservative. This is particularly true with respect to the natural world.

Very true. Probably the only profound statement Dreher makes.

6. A good rule of thumb: Small and Local and Old and Particular are to be preferred over Big and Global and New and Abstract.

In my experience as a reporter, small business and local government is often just as corrupt, and much less accountable, than big business and big government. Small and local does not mean noble. Small means small. Local means local. Same with any other adjective. Old and particular ideas can be just as evil as new and abstract ideas.

7. Appreciation of aesthetic quality—that is, beauty—is not a luxury, but key to the good life.

Nah. It’s appreciation of the inherent goodness in an object. I would rather have a good, functioning car than a snazzy one. I would rather have an honest, faithful wife than a gorgeous one. I would rather worship a good God than a popular one. Beauty is superficial and misleading, which is why Satan appears as an angel of light.

8. The cacophony of contemporary popular culture makes it hard to discern the call of truth and wisdom. There is no area in which practicing asceticism is more important.

You mean a person who watches a lot of movies can’t tell the difference between fact and fiction? No wonder you and your kind are so paranoid about The Da Vinci Code. I am not confused by pop culture because I have been taught to critically think. Anyone who has been taught critical thinking can discern truth; anyone who prays and reads scripture regularly can learn the Holy Spirit’s wisdom. Depriving yourself can’t teach this to you; you can’t practice your thinking skills when you’re deprived of things to think about. There is a purpose behind asceticism, but it’s not to clear your head so you can think. It’s so you can listen. You need to learn to think regardless of the cacophany.

9. We share Kirk’s conviction that “the best way to rear up a new generation of friends of the Permanent Things is to beget children, and read to them in the evenings, and teach them what is worthy of praise: the wise parent is the conservator of ancient truths…. The institution most essential to conserve is the family.”

True. But unfortunately many families are dysfunctional. So while we work to conserve functional families, we need to likewise create support systems to make up for the poor child-rearing of dysfunctional families. And I don’t mean prisons. I mean better public schools, pop culture that encourages good behavior rather than consumerism, and incentive systems that teach people to be better parents. Otherwise all you’re rearing up are isolated exceptions to the rule.

10. Politics and economics will not save us. If we are to be saved at all, it will be through living faithfully by the Permanent Things, preserving these ancient truths in the choices we make in everyday life. ln this sense, to conserve is to create anew.

If we are to be saved at all, it is through Jesus Christ and a relationship with him, not by following the Permanent Things (or the Law, or the Tao, or whatever you else want to call it). It is to obey him and demonstrate this obedience by loving those who don’t obey regardless. And again—because I have to be logical in all this—exactly what fool writes a political manifesto in which he denounces the very politics he claims to embrace?

Maybe they’re crunchy because they crumble so easily.