There are now three blogs I've seen that contain this “resumé of Jesus Christ.” Naturally, Jesus never wrote it because he would never write anything so cheesy. It proposes that Jesus is applying for the position of Lord and lists a whole bunch of proof-texts to show why he would be great for the job. Like any other resumé, it's heavily padded in favor of the positive and skips over the negative, which is quite unlike Jesus, who never pulls punches:
- You want to follow me, you have to deny yourself and take up your cross. [Mt 16.24, Mk 8.34, Lk 9.29]
- You will suffer persecution. [Jn 16.33] But it's all good. [Mt 5.11] Love your persecutors anyway. [Mt 5.44]
- If you have lots of stuff, it will hinder you to the degree that it’s more likely to shove a camel through a needle than for you to get into the kingdom, Lk 18.24-25] which contrary to popular interpretation, is not a metaphor. (And it can be done, with a very powerful food processor.) You can't serve God and wealth, Mt 6.24, Lk 16.13] so get off this idea that God wants everyone to be wealthy. I already told you there will always be poor people. Mt 26.11, Mk 14.7, Jn 12.8] The TV preachers who tell you otherwise are only trying to justify their greed.
- Prophets get no honor in their homeland. Mt 13.57, Mk 6.4, Jn 4.44] Maybe you should leave.
- Stop sinning. Jn 5.14, 8.11, 1Co 15.34] Be perfect like your Father in heaven. Mt 5.48] Again, not a metaphor; and stop using that excuse that all have sinned. Those verses Ro 3.23, 5.12, 1Jn 1.8-10] are in past tense for a reason. No one who truly abides in me sins. 1Jn 2.6, 3.9, 5.18]
- I told you to make disciples, Mt 28.19] not get people to say the sinners’ prayer or some other “magic words,” then abandon them to figure everything else out on their own. Stop leaving my sheep behind for the wolves to prey upon. Your job is not done until you have adequately trained them to likewise make disciples.
Naturally there are others, each a Rant in itself.
But the dopey bit is that this so-called resumé presumes that anyone would apply to a person to be their boss. Jesus never had to apply for his job; making the universe automatically puts him in charge of it, and dying for it shows he deserves to be in charge of it.