Getting in trouble at Bethany College.

Bethany College was the first Christian school I ever attended. I grew up in public schools. (For you Brits, that means government schools.) I went to a state community college and a state university. My parents didn’t have the money for private instruction, and even if they did, Dad wouldn’t care to spend it.

Having taught at Christian schools since, I will say I wasn’t necessarily deprived. It all comes down to the teacher. Some teachers at Christian schools are outstanding; some teachers are awful. Same with public schools. Some are there to teach critical thinking skills; some are there purely to indoctrinate. Bethany was full of awesome teachers. So I lucked out there: I went to Bethany because it was a Christian school in my denomination, not because I’d heard great things about its teachers. I have since: After I graduated and taught school, once people found out I was a Bethany grad, they leapt to the conclusion I went through their teacher ed program, and started gushing about how great that program was. I kept correcting them: “No no; I studied bible and theology.” But it did help prod me into going back for that program.

But I digress. The teachers were excellent. Student Life, on the other hand… The deans of students were stand-out people. The campus pastors as well. But the resident advisers were fellow college kids, and some were brand-new Christians, more earnest than wise.

So I blame them for my getting in trouble. The deans, whenever they found out about my shenanigans, laughed it off. The RAs, however, were outraged. How dare I? What kind of Christian was I? What sort of heretic would do such things?

Meh. I will say the guys who supervised the halls I lived in… well, they meant well.

Back to the future?

Someone keeps photoshopping today’s date onto a photo from Back to the Future Part II, and claiming today is when Marty McFly returns to the future. I photoshopped this—but no, I didn’t change the date; get the DVD and check it yourself. Still, it’s nuts how people who are so skeptical about all sorts of things, just mindlessly accept some internet meme. [Posted on Facebook, 1 May.]

University anniversary this weekend.

Bethany’s globe; located variously at the chapel and the library. [Photo: John Pilge.]

I went to Bethany College in the late ’90s, and did some graduate work there briefly in the mid ’00s, at which time it became Bethany University. It shut down two years ago, after decades of financial instability and non-management. Regardless, this weekend some alumni are throwing a celebration of its founding at Glad Tidings Church in San Francisco—the church which founded Glad Tidings Bible Institute in 1919, which became Bethany Bible College when it moved to Santa Cruz in the ’50s.

The posters all say “100 years of fire” on them. That’s actually referring to Glad Tidings’ 100th year, ’cause it was founded in 1913. But because they stuck that on everything, it sounds like Bethany is a century old, and that the organizers suck at math. Bethany is only a year younger than Billy Graham. Hey, I didn’t organize the event. I’m just telling you what they put on the posters.

Social media, October 2013.

TUESDAY, 1 OCTOBER.

Folks like to point out how the shutdown is really gonna affect Congress’s poll numbers. They don’t understand: It’s the president who cares about national polls; he’s the one with the nationally-elected job. The only polls a member of Congress cares about are the local polls of the constituents who voted ’em in. And the libertarians shutting Congress down were elected in gerrymandered libertarian districts who want Congress shut down, who love the obstructionist fools they sent to Congress, and who don’t care what the rest of us think. Polls shmolls.

Take a break from the government news, and listen to “The Elephant Song.”

WEDNESDAY, 2 OCTOBER.

A parable about the shutdown.

THURSDAY, 3 OCTOBER.

Look, I’m not thrilled about Obamacare. It’s basically doing for healthcare what the state of California did with auto insurance: It requires everyone to have it, and suggests it may lower our rates. It offers to insure those who can’t afford it, so there’s that.

But even lower rates are insanely high. Because healthcare is for-profit. And rescue aid services ought never be for-profit. Otherwise you get insane markup costs added, as HMOs profiteer on human suffering. As you can see in this comparison between U.S. costs and other first-world healthcare costs.

FRIDAY, 4 OCTOBER.

Can’t believe I hadn’t thought of this already.

Well, we in California have CalFire. Not sure what the rest of the states have in place.

SATURDAY, 5 OCTOBER.

How internet feedback works.

Unfortunately Wikipedia changed it back.

Netflix, like meth.

To follow up from my previous post, “Netflix, like crack,” we did watch Breaking Bad. Hence the new title. ’Cause, you know, meth is a big part of that show. And now we’re on to Mad Men, and if I’d written a piece after we finished with that show, it’d likely be titled “Netflix, like nicotine,” ’cause of all the smoking. May as well beat this addiction metaphor into the ground, right?

No we didn’t finish Breaking Bad. Netflix hasn’t posted the last eight episodes in the United States. (Apparently it has elsewhere, ’cause Netflix was the only pusher supplier of the show in other countries.) Yes, I already know who dies and who doesn’t, ’cause the internet can’t keep it’s bloody mouth shut, but I’ll watch the rest of it anyway once Netflix finally puts them online.

Social media, September 2013.

SUNDAY, 1 SEPTEMBER.

Morning. Time for your daily affirmation.

This isn’t the sound check. This is the concert. (And yes, that can be a metaphor for life, and a sad reality for both.)

I’m sure the inventor of this candle thought, “What a poetic, evocative name.” But if I ever bought it and burnt it, all I could imagine myself thinking was, “I BURN YOUR WISHES. I BURN THEM UP.”

Getting tired of listening to certain conservative friends freak out over same-sex marriage. You’d think desegregation was happening all over again.

TUESDAY, 3 SEPTEMBER.

So you’re not billionaire-rich. But if you have a lot of possessions, Jesus counts you as rich. So, heads up.

THURSDAY, 5 SEPTEMBER.

Too many of us use Christianity to affirm ourselves. Not reject yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus.

FRIDAY, 6 SEPTEMBER.

In a parallel universe, President Romney is calling for Americans to fight in Syria. And every last neoconservative is backing him 100 percent… though in our universe you’d think they were all newly converted pacifists.

Somewhat true.

SATURDAY, 7 SEPTEMBER.

Focus on eternal things.

There is a difference.

MONDAY, 8 SEPTEMBER.

The reason people want a government which will solve all their problems is because deep down, unconsciously, they desire the kingdom of God.

The reason people want government to leave them alone is sometimes because they recognize this, and want the kingdom instead of our government. Sometimes.

But for a lot of them, especially those who take pride in their utter independence from anyone or anything: They don’t want God either. Like the Pharisees, they want to be free to interpret his rules however they please, but if God literally showed up, he’d get in their way, so they’d want him dead.

WEDNESDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER.

I think it was actually back in May.

THURSDAY, 11 SEPTEMBER.

Not gonna stop plenty of Christians from trying, though.

Oh, the fun you can have with pronunciation.

In picking a church, fruit of the Spirit makes all the difference.

FRIDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER.

If Monty Python and the Holy Grail were marketed as serious instead of funny.

Such a double standard.

SATURDAY, 13 SEPTEMBER.

Years ago my dad told me the story of when he asked God to show himself, and God didn’t answer. (Which was kind of God, considering Dad asked to be struck with lightning.) Dad concluded there’s no God, and proceeded to become atheist.

And thanks to Dad’s behavior, he probably drove me further towards God in my teens than anything else. Some kids rebel by ditching church; I rebelled by going. So, y’know, there’s that—sometimes God can best use you as an atheist.

The Canadian version of Breaking Bad would be much briefer.

WEDNESDAY, 17 SEPTEMBER.

Or they do know, but keep accepting empty promises in exchange. You know, like, “Vote for me! I’ll close Guantanamo Bay!” or “Vote for me! I’m pro-life!” Either way.

Wonder how many Christians ever bother to hit the “Let the Lord Decide” button?

“Heretic” is an overused word. We’re saved by grace, folks; not orthodoxy.

THURSDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER.

PETA goes for the easy victims. Socialites who wear fur who would never attack back; slower-than-average models who don’t realize they’re being exploited just as much as the animals they claim to defend; fast food restaurants staffed by teenagers and out-of-shape managers. If any of them ever foolhardily attack a leather-clad biker, it’s only because they’ve decided, “I don’t really need my teeth anymore.”

So… what good will it do God if he keeps me alive another day?

Just another fun thought before bedtime.

MONDAY, 22 SEPTEMBER.

Wishful thinking isn’t faith. Faith is based on something solid: Substance. Evidence. Hoped-for and unseen, but still.

TUESDAY, 23 SEPTEMBER.

A human relationship, based solely on spontaneity, will never be a deep one. And a divine relationship, based solely on following whatever spiritual whim comes your way (or wrongly described as “wherever the Spirit leads”), will likewise never become a deep one. You will always be an entry-level Christian, destined for mediocrity unless the Holy Spirit does something drastic to wake you up.

WEDNESDAY, 24 SEPTEMBER.

Overdo it and it’ll stop working.

Argumentativeness is a work of the flesh. Why then do Christians do it? “We’re arguing for Jesus.”

FRIDAY, 26 SEPTEMBER.

Jesus said, “A man was going from Jerusalem to Jericho, where he was attacked by robbers, beaten, and left for dead.

“A senator happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he said to himself, ‘I can’t be helping every poor fool who doesn’t plan ahead; it establishes a bad precedent, and disrupts the economy.’ And he passed him by.

“A pastor likewise saw the man, and said to himself, ‘When Jesus said “Heal the sick,” he only meant supernatural healing,’ and sent up a flare-prayer; and seeing no results, shrugged and passed him by as well.

“But an illegal immigrant came by, saw him, took pity on him, bandaged his wounds, put him in his truck, took him to a clinic, and offered to help him out however he could. Which of these three do you think was a neighbor?”

The Republican said, “Well, the senator.”

Jesus told him, “How hard it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Nearly sixty years of guitar solos in nearly six minutes.

MONDAY, 29 SEPTEMBER.

Lately I’ve noticed a significant pause when I open Facebook in my browser. Probably they’re just scanning my browser history, in case there are any areas of my life they don’t know about, and can’t market to, yet.

Priorities.

Raj Patel: “There are two novels that can change a bookish 14-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves Orcs.”

Literally.

I won’t bother to link to the article, but once again on the internet, some nimrod was ranting about the end of civilization as we know it, and for evidence he pointed to the fact that once you Google “define:literally” you get this.

Definition 1 is the familiar definition, “Exactly.” Definition 2 is the popular, but often totally opposite, definition, “Virtually.”

The ranter is outraged, I tell you, outraged. Everybody who means “virtually” is using it wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. And now Google is telling them they’re right, because when they look it up on Google, they can now point to it and say, “Aha. Told you it means that.” The reason I’m not linking you to the original article (and the many, many others like it) is because these ranters don’t understand what a dictionary does.

A dictionary informs us what words mean when people use them.