I really wish they wouldn’t pad graduations with speeches. The speeches are crap.
Attended graduation today, which was anticlimactic as usual. I am never impressed by graduation speeches. They either have to do with looking back or looking forward, and little of the advice is practical. This is for two reasons, which I’ll rant about below.
(Bear in mind I’m not speaking in particular about our graduation speakers. I’m speaking generally, in light of years of listening to such speeches. If my comments apply to this year’s speakers, good—my generalities are valid, somewhat.)
- The student speakers don’t know anything. No offense; but they really don’t. By and large, they went directly from high school to college. Their parents supported them financially. They’ve never had a real job; they’ve never been able to use their own merit or qualifications to earn one. They’ve never lived on their own, paid rent (or a mortgage), and discovered that if they didn’t live within a budget, the power would be turned off. They never had to eat Top Ramen out of hardship. (Having no spare cash but a Café Bethany meal plan does not count.) They never had to fill out a 1040
A tax return. They never had to be truly independent.And—before you who don’t know anything think I’m trying to make the future sound awful—they don’t know how easy it is to overcome all that stuff, and how independence isn’t hard. They don’t know that the jobs will come, the career paths will be decided, and the future will be just fine. (They also don’t know that, five years from now, they’ll wish they had picked a different major entirely.)
- The adult speakers don’t know anything. Both our speakers—at the baccalaureate and the graduation—don’t know what it’s like entering today’s job market. It’s been years since they had to do any such thing themselves; and while some parts of it are definitely easier, some parts aren’t. They don’t realize how much your average young graduate’s expenses are, compared to when they entered the job market; but fortunately the college student of today is better-connected and can more easily recognize and access available job opportunities. The interest rates are way better today. And time has a way of selectively weeding out bad experiences.
“Love one another” is always good advice, but the best graduation advice I’ve heard so far is from Mary Schmich’s article, “Wear Sunscreen” (which is best known for the way Baz Luhrmann spliced it together with “Everybody’s Free”). Nobody was asking her to speak at any graduation ceremonies so, pathetically, she made up her own speech. It’s good, practical, utilitarian stuff. I love it. (I hate wearing sunscreen, though.)
Kerry came to graduation and said hello to lots of people. Then she, and I, and her friend Kerrie had lunch, then coffee. Pergolesi’s still freaks them out a little; I sometimes forget that Kerry hasn’t seen half the weirdness I have. (That’s probably a good thing.)
I came back to campus to find Mike gone. And he took all his stuff with him. I suppose this was to be expected; I figured he would leave after graduation, and I had spent the afternoon in downtown Santa Cruz. Wasn’t I supposed to sign off on his check-out so I wouldn’t get stuck with his room damages? (Although it’s most likely that all of the room damages are mine. Mike didn’t drill the holes in the wall.)
The campus has been pretty well vacated. Finally… some quiet I can work with. Time to see how loud the speakers can really get. Then, on Wednesday… I gotta switch halls.
And now, the izzle version of this site.
Fo’ shizzle, pizzle drizzle.