Originally published in Countryside Post, Issue 2.5.
“Hello, you’ve reached Countryside Post. Jill isn’t here and Kent is tired of taking her messages, so if you’re calling for her, leave a message; if you’re calling for him, speak up; if you think this is unprofessional, aw, you’re no fun.” Beep.
That used to be on the Post’s answering machine. We had to take it off. We started getting hang-ups, likely from people who thought it was “unprofessional,” which is a code-word for “not dried up and humor-deprived like me; dangit, business is work!” The headline of this Letter is for them.
To me, a phone call is a request, not a demand, to talk. Don’t confuse the two. Many do, and thus become annoyed—especially when they discover that, at home, I don’t even answer the phone. I put a nutty message on the machine, which drives away all the people I don’t want to talk to. I answer, if I feel like talking, those who have the decency to leave a message.
At work, I answer my phone calls; I ask you to call me, and you do, and thank you. But the bulk of the calls are for Jill—especially since she got involved in the South Nevada County Chamber—so when I’m really busy, which is most of the time, I don’t bother taking messages and just screen ’em thru the machine.
Thus our message—I was just being honest. After all, voice-mail essentially does the same thing. But now it’s gone; another blow struck for “professionalism.”
…Tickets are on sale for our Big Band Big Barn Bash. Buy one. We’ll serve some good food and offer some nice swing. To those of you who remember the ’70s, we’re not talking about that kind of “swinging.” On a more personal note, please, as a favor to me, don’t encourage Jill’s attempts to get me a date for the Bash. I only date friends, and I’m not going to try to develop “friendships” within a month simply so I can get a date. I take dating much more seriously than that.
…Apologies for the dormant website. Since our office was flooded in December [see iss. 2.1] some of the Post’s equipment hasn’t worked right since. Wait till mid-February. Meanwhile, we have all the back issues you need at our office, and they’re all free.
If you have a story, you also have a paper to put it in. Call me.
Kent Leslie, managing editor
Update, 4/17/2011. The Big Band Big Barn Bash was a fundraising idea that Jill had come up with: Borrow a barn, hire a big band, and sell tickets. Folks were more used to the idea of country music, not big band music, in a barn, so the novelty sorta got their attention. We sold quite a few tickets.
At first this was gonna be a yearly thing, but the success of the first one made Jill decide it was worth making a twice-yearly thing. The second one didn’t do as well. Sometimes it’s a better idea to keep novelties novel.