07 April 2013

Mr. Squish, movie-reviewing sell-out.

Back in the early 1990s, Universal Pictures probably got tired of all the one-star reviews the professionals were giving them for their insipid, stupid movies. Because instead of tucking into their TV ads the typical “Heywood Jablome of the Saskatoon Auto Trader gives it five hubcaps!” they began showing a camera crew asking average citizens, as they came out of the theater, what they thought of the movie they just watched.

Now, be realistic: If you come out of a movie theater and there’s a camera crew, and they’re gonna put you in one of their national TV commericals if you give their movie movie a positive review, and you really want to be on TV, what are the chances you’re gonna give them a bad review? Many a struggling actor would perform foul, unspeakable acts for the very glimmer of hope to be on national TV. In comparison, it’s way easier to just slap a big fake grin on your face and say, “Mannequin 2: On the Move was the best comedy I’ve seen in, like, ever.” Souls are easily sold cheap this way.